Introduction – “I find your lack of
faith – disturbing.” – Darth Vader
I haven’t been here in a while. Not
in a long while. Not since last September. I believe I burned out. I set out to
do too much. I set a goal that was unrealistic. And I found it unbelievably
easy to stop. And I got lazy. I sleep in in the morning, not that I am any less
tired. I am exhausted. Emotionally exhausted. And no better. Probably worse. I
lost faith. In a person? An idea? A place? Myself?
Although I have thought about this
place on occasion, today was the first day I had a desire to write something.
That little nudge in my brain that I need to do it. That it might be helpful.
And I figured I ought to write before that brief flash of desire disappeared.
It might be fleeting, whether that is what I want or not.
A friend posted a video of the
author being interviewed about this book. I watched. The video had a link to a
lecture he gave at a university. I followed. I was spellbound. I prepared
chicken fingers and cleaned my kitchen while I mostly listened, but sometimes
found myself watching. The laptop followed me room to room. Two hours passed,
but I didn’t feel guilty. I wanted the book.
That’s another thing entirely. I
didn’t want to buy another book that would end up in my special Christian Non
Fiction hideaway in my basement under a dresser. Or worse – in my trunk. They
get passed around a little, but I just don’t have shelf space for them. But I
played with the idea of downloading the book onto my laptop… Pre Kindle
flirting? Gasp!
But what happened… I started reading
reviews. Hundreds of 5 star reviews. What is the point in that? I skipped to
the 1 star reviews. That is the dirt! And there I found those pesky atheists
having a field day. But read and read
and was thankful that I hadn’t dished out any money. The argument presented in
the book has holes in it for the unbelieving crowd. Like I should have been
surprised!
But I was bored in Bible Class this
morning. And deeply depressed and distressed and tears. There is more and more
of that. And I checked the online catalog on my phone – and I had my “sign”.
DPL owned the book. And now it is temporarily mine.
“I
commend two processes to my readers. I urge skeptics to wrestle with the
unexamined ‘blind faith’ on which skepticism is based, and to see how hard it
is to justify those beliefs to those who do not share them. I also urge
believers to wrestle with their personal and culture’s objections to the faith.
At the end of each process, even if you remain the skeptic or believer you have
been, you will hold your own position with both greater clarity and greater
humility.”
What a terrific challenge! You see,
I am surrounded by atheists and skeptics. And I tend to hold the same feelings
as they do… those hypocritical Christians are the worst! (Myself included.)
And I am also terribly ashamed to be
considered backwards and unenlightened and stupid and stubborn. Okay, yes. But
I can be brilliant. I am educated. Please, don’t lump me in with those
Christians. Much like the author, I am looking for my “band of brothers and
sisters”. Like-minded people who happen to be Christian and Cool. Hahaha. If
there is such a thing.
“I believe; help my unbelief!”
Mark 9:24b (ESV )
Mark 9:24b (
But
let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave
of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.
James
1:6 (ESV)
Trust
in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
Proverbs
3:5 (ESV)
