Chapter 7 – Making Time – Part 1

Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
1 Corinthians 15:58

Exercise 1: Time Bandits

When you try to visualize yourself taking time to practice your art, what other activities and responsibilities take precedence over your artistic endeavors? List the top three “time bandits” in your life right now.

1.      Mess that must be cleaned up first.

2.     Too many interruptions. Time is chopped up into many increments.

3.     Too many other things that must be done first.

I cannot get to my piano. It is in a toy room. This is the room that I wish to turn into MY room. Just looking into that room sets me on edge. If I want to work with scissors and paper and yardsticks, the best bet is the dining table and it is always covered with paperwork. Or food. Don’t want to get my stuff dirty. Even at work, there is simply no available flat surface to work upon. So much stuff has to be moved and put aside and gotten out before I can even start. It’s easier to NOT start until it is absolutely necessary.

The interruptions are when I’m writing or practicing piano. What part of, “I’m busy,” don’t they get? I cannot write at home. It’s actually a different story when I am painting. I get lonely. I can multitask – carry on a conversation at the same time. Not that I don’t stop and give my full attention to the visitor when it is needed, but six hours of uninterrupted painting drives me wild. I need a break with people.

I guess I am the type of person who likes to start a job and finish it. I don’t like to have to quit when I am in the middle of something. If I get to a good stopping place and can tell that I don’t have enough time to complete the next segment. I don’t start it. Rarely, I get to a point where I just have to be done. And I stop. So I don’t like to work for 2 hours here and an hour there. I don’t relish 4 hours of work when I have a big project to complete. Especially when there will be work-related interruptions. 8 hours seems like an amount of time that can be put to good use without the stress of a deadline looming before me.

I cannot possibly imagine putting aside an entire day, or even 4 hours to write. Certainly not at home where there is laundry and dishes and flowers and messy rooms. But for some reason, I can pack up and work elsewhere non-stop where there are no distractions. And of course with a “client” that needs something tangible by a certain date. I must have a “job” and not a hobby. I don’t feel guilty going to church and painting all day. By the time I finish typing this, I will feel like I’ve spent enough time on “me time” and really must get to “work”.

Not that I will get anything done. I’m just not interested at all in domestic house work. I’m sorry. Unless I can just throw everything away and start over.

But now I have this lovely portable laptop. I am going to have to start porting! Try it and see if it is doable…

And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Romans 5:5

There is no Habakkuk 4:13

Chapter 6 – Breathing Out – Part 5

Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established.
Proverbs 16:3 NASB

Exercise 5: Just Doing It

·        Setting a specific time to do artistic work

·        Learning to protect creative time from outside demands

·        Claiming a space to do artist work

·        Banishing the critic

Which of these presents the biggest challenge for you?

Which one do you think you might have the most success overcoming?

Claiming the space. I’m doing it. This summer! Hold me to it!

Make “something” for 30 minutes.

He woke up thirsty. Parched. He might have had too much to drink. A lonely drunk is never fun. And the man with a hangover is worse in the morning. His head was throbbing. He could barely stand up straight. He ambled into the kitched. Stumbled to the cabinet for a glass. Make that a cup. He didn’t want to break anything. Shattered glass would make for a more miserable morning. He might end up in the ER again.  He leaned against the sink, placed the cup beneath the spout and turned on the water. Normally, he would have rinsed out the cup while the water ran cold. But he wasn’t awake enough. He was asleep at the tap when he heard a clunk and felt a splash. He jolted awake. The water was cloudy like an Alka Seltzer tablet had been dropped in. And the water was very blue. It certainly wasn’t muddy. He was close to dumping the strange fizzy concoction to try again when he swore he saw a face. A face smaller than his daughter’s Barbie doll, but more perfect. Taking a closer look, he set the cup onto the counter. And there it, no she, was. Staring right back at him. She had placed her arms over the rim to support herself. And she was studying him. His first thought was, “what if she can get out.” Later he would see the ridiculousness of that thought. But at the moment, it seemed imperative that he protect himself from this… this… this… Oh, his mind was so cloudy. He couldn’t think straight let alone logically. This was a creature right out of myth and legend. What was it called … Dryad, no, that was a tree. A nymph. He had a nymph in his cup, in his kitchen. A daughter of Poseidon? Ugh. He would google it later. Maybe this was the miracle he had been hoping for. Maybe she could grant wishes or something … well, maybe not at all like a genie. But maybe the gods would reward him for rescuing her. He wondered if she could communicate. He woke himself from this reverie and lurched to the cabinet for a pitcher. He dumped her in without care and then hit himself in the head for not being more careful. When she and the water hit the bottom of the empty pitcher, the water foamed and fizzed again. And then she “pulled” herself together again and glared up at him. Good thing he had the pitcher. He decided to give her a bit more water guessing she would probably like more, but not so much that she could hang off the edge of the pitcher. This reminded him that he was still thirsty. He set the pitcher in the sink after filling it half full. He shuffled back to the cabinet and reached for a glass. He was a bit woozy and managed to knock the glass off the shelf and it shattered on the tile floor. Out of anger he stomped his foot. Right onto the biggest shard. Well, back to the ER. If he could drive. He never got that glass of water and he never looked back at the mythological creature swimming around in the bottom of his lemonade pitcher. He didn’t see the Barbie sized creature peeking over the edge as he shut the front door behind him. He couldn’t tell you how he got to the hospital. He was just grateful that he did before he lost too much blood and passed out. It was a long wait in the ER. Then there was extracting the pieces of glass and then multiple stitches. He might as well have a cast, he was bandaged so heavily. Because it was his right foot, they wouldn’t let him drive home. He had to call his brother who was none too happy with him at the moment. His brother unceremoniously dumped him off on his sofa with enough food to last him a few days. It was a blessing, HA, that he didn’t have anywhere to be for the next week while his foot healed. He’d camp out on the sofa. He’d order pizza. His brother gave him enough cash for that at least. The creature forgotten, he passed out on the couch. The next week was a haze. His brother would drop by with something to eat occasionally, otherwise he just ate out of the grocery sack on the floor beside him. He watched movies by night and slept by day. He drank a cup of toothpastey water every trip to the bathroom. He wore a path on the carpet from the couch to the bathroom in no time. By the time he finally got bored enough to amble into the kitchen again and cook something a little more healthy to eat, only a little more healthy, the water in the pitcher had evaporated done to less than the original cup of water. He jumped about a foot when he saw the pitcher. He thought the creature had been a dream. Surely it was an alcohol induced dream. He snuck up on the sink and peered inside the pitcher. Not only had the water level gone done considerably, the creature had shrunk in size with it. She appeared to be asleep at the bottom. She looked like one of his daughter’s Polly Pockets, only more real. More human? He lifted the pitcher and gently swirled the water. She jumped awake and glared up at him. He got the distinct impression that she was angry with him. He quickly filled the pitcher up from the tap. Again, the water churned and fizzed a lovely Caribbean Blue. When he turned off the tap and the water settled, there was the Barbie-sized nymph again. He almost dropped the pitcher. He quickly set it on the counter and backed away. The doorbell rang and he met his brother at the door. He’d forgotten. Today was the day he went back to the doctor. The creature was quickly forgotten as he rushed to put on some clothes. His brother impatiently tapping his foot at the door. If he could just please one person one time, that would please himself. His brother practically ran to the running car as he hobbled behind him. They didn’t say one word on the way to the doctor’s office. When he was dropped off back at home, he headed straight to his bed. He never wanted to wake up. He slept for two days with occasional trips to the bathroom. It wasn’t until his stomach protested angrily that he visited the kitchen again. He wasn’t surprised by the pitcher anymore. He just didn’t believe it. He figured if he ignored it, it would evaporate away. He couldn’t take care of himself. He certainly couldn’t take care of his family. The nymph creature might as well just evaporate into thin air.

Commend what you do to Yahweh, and what you plan will be achieved.

Proverbs 16:3 NJB

There is no Nahum 4:13 Poor minor prophets.

Chapter 6 – Breathing Out – Part 4

Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established.
Proverbs 16:3 NASB

Exercise 4: A Place for Us

Where is your “bit of earth”? Where do you feel safest to create? Where in your home do you feel most at peace, least distracted? Describe your ideal artist’s studio. Where would it be? Would there be windows, and, what would you see when you look out of them? What furniture, art pieces, memorabilia, photographs, and other accessories would you put in your studio?

I’ve got a plan for this summer. We have an extra bedroom upstairs. It used to be the nursery. Now it is a toy room. We have multiple toy rooms. I think we can live with one less especially as the girls are getting older.

When I got my piano last fall, it ended up in there. Which was quite nice. Well, I don’t practice it as much because of location. That’s my most pressing concern. But it more difficult because of the piles of toys that pile up around the piano.

I want to go through all of the toys and keep, trash or sell. There is a built in chest of drawers. I think it needs to come out. The current book shelves do NOT accommodate picture books. But they might accommodate mine. The Beatrix Potter pictures must come done. The Peter Rabbit figure wallpapers must come done. The walls are a pale green. I need something more vivid.

I think, if my piano is in there and I have a comfy chaise lounge to curl up on with either book or laptop, I will be “there”. I need a room of my own. Okay, and maybe an art table for my displays so that all of my materials are within arm’s reach. I’m starting to understand all of those cool pieces of furniture for holding yarn and ribbon and paper …

The room has two windows. One looks out over the porte cochere. The other looks out over the back yard. That will be very helpful.

I’ve thought about this room for about two years now. I think it is time for it to morph!

AND I think I will paint murals on my walls! And I might change them every so often. I want a dragon (the Jabberwock?)! And I’ve often thought of illustrating my own Alice. Can you imagine?

Commend what you do to Yahweh, and what you plan will be achieved.

Proverbs 16:3 NJB

Arise and thresh, O daughter of Zion, for I will make your horn iron, and I will make your hoofs bronze; you shall beat in pieces many peoples; and shall devote their gain to the Lord, their wealth to the Lord of the whole earth.

Micah 4:13 (ESV)

Chapter 6 – Breathing Out – Part 3

Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established.
Proverbs 16:3 NASB

Exercise 3: The Family Contract

Work with members of your family in drawing up a contract that defines how they will grant you the time, space, and privacy you need to do your artist work.

When I first read this exercise, I laughed. Like I am really going to do that. Like I was going to pick a space and put up a Do Not Disturb sign on the door. I have better luck with that at church. And I don’t even need the sign. I only keep the door closed so that I don’t bother anyone. No one will bother me.

I guess I laughed because I work part time and I have a lot of free time available. I even get up extra early to take advantage of quiet time. When everyone else is home, I can spend time with them.

Of course, we’re coming up on summer and I’m getting nervous. I’ll have two girls at home with me to keep occupied and sometimes I DO need some down time. I won’t have the time to “work”. I may even have to work with them by my side. It’s just not the same. I don’t care what you say. If your kids are around, you cannot be fully committed to your job.

I’m horrible. I read this exercise and decided I wasn’t going to do it. Why bother. I don’t even want to talk about it.

I’ve disengaged.

A lot.

I haven’t done anything for sooooo long.

After doing everything for sooooo long.

I don’t even remember what I used to do.

Back when I had plenty to do. Oh, yeah, right. I had little ones. That’s it.

What about before them?

Oh, yeah, right. I had a full time job.

It is amazing the importance that has been placed on women having full time jobs. Women who work get more respect and support.

It’s also amazing the number of people who work in a field for which they have no degree … and the number of fully qualified people or are displaced by them.

I’m overwhelmed by the places that create a position for people they like.

Wow. I’m venting. I apologize. Some people get paid to do what they’re good at. Others are not.

Commend what you do to Yahweh, and what you plan will be achieved.

Proverbs 16:3 NJB

There is no Jonah 4:13

Chapter 6 – Breathing Out – Part 2

Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established.
Proverbs 16:3 NASB

Exercise 2: What are You Afraid of?

Indicate which fears apply to you:

1.      Fear that my family life and social life will suffer if I spend time on my art.

2.     Feat that I’ll seem self-indulgent to others if I schedule and protect my artist time.

3.    Fear that it will seem arrogant for me to think I can produce anything “good enough”.

I don’t think the people who know me well enough would think me arrogant. And most people wish I would produce more despite my modesty and lack of confidence.

4.    Fear of calling myself an artist.

We call all kids who attend school “students” whether they are good students or bad students. I am an artist because that is what I do.

5.    Fear of loneliness as friends assume that I’m too busy “acting like an artist” to do things with them. I’d like to rephrase this so that it is suitable to me. Fear of loneliness that my artistic tendencies prevent others from choosing to be friends with me.

My artistic tendencies attract some of the best friends. The rest can remain acquaintances.

6.    Fear of rejection if I submit my work for publication, exhibition, or sale.

God has been training me for rejection the hard way. If I can deal with the rejection of those closer to me, surely I can deal with the rejection of people I’ve never met.

7.      Fear of spending time and money on my art that ought to go to other more “responsible” things.

8.   Fear that I don’t have enough talent.

I have enough talent for what I do. I am busy enough. Now if I could just get paid for what I do ;)

9.    Fear that others will think I’m irresponsible. (Because I get carried away.)

People should appreciate the childlike, fearless, indestructible qualities that I hold onto.

10.           Fear that people I respect won’t like what I produce.

There are more people in this world who like what I produce than there are people I respect. So I win anyway.

11. Fear of my own tendency to quit before I finish something.

There is a time for everything. I have put the work into it and I can always return to it at a later date.

12. Fear that I’ll be just adding another source of stress to my life.

Now turn those fear statements into positive statements.

I don’t know that I have actually turned the statements into positive ones. It would be infinitely easy to write paragraphs as to why I am the way I am or feel the way I feel. But that would do me no good. It would just further imprint my problems.

Truth is I am good enough for what I do and accomplish. I’ve been steadily busy for about eight years. And no one has suggested that I stop. It matters little that I don’t get paid for what I do. I seriously would pay to get to do it. I beg. I’m scared for it to be taken away.

And God has plans for me. Plans for good and not for disaster. I am where I am because He placed me there despite the battle I provided. I still stare in disbelief at how it has all worked out. I am blessed beyond anything I could have imagined for myself.

And here I am with this new lovely computer. The feel of the keys alone is exhilarating. I’ll have to take a picture. All I can think is “PRETTY” when I open it up. I must protect myself from being drug into it. I was up late as it was.

Now let’s see how superfast I can upload this and even post it without ever reaching for my iPhone! Oooo. I need a white iPhone now to match! Who ever would have thunk it.

Thank you Heavenly Father!

Commend what you do to Yahweh, and what you plan will be achieved.

Proverbs 16:3 NJB

There is no Obadiah 4:13

Chapter 6 – Breathing Out – Part 1

Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established.
Proverbs 16:3 NASB

Exercise 1: Scheduling Artist Time

I will work on my art every      day     from 8:30ish         to       2:00ish         .

Well, that’s practically cheating. I have two projects and I’ll probably create art nearly every day for a month. I am currently prepping. I painted 2-3 primer coats on Monday. I painted 2 base color coats on Tuesday. I’m supposing I have one more base coat on one set of canvases today before I can get to the creative part although it has been in the back of my mind throughout.

Yesterday while I worked, I listened/watched a DVD of songs I’ll need to learn and I sang and danced along as appropriate. After several viewings, I switched to my itunes and rocked a bit. Well, Christian Rocked.

The base coat needed 4 hours to dry so I took a 2 hour break to eat lunch and do some laundry. I managed to write for about 30-45 minutes. Not bad really.

I’ve got the time. That’s always been my problem. What to fill it with.

I worked all weekend and Tuesday evening and I colored in every available moment. I got 4 out of 5 pages total colored and pre cut. I am not looking forward to the actual final cut. I also bought poster board for some 2D castle building. I did the measurements and scale and made my supply list. All I need is to be at work so I can start drawing and cutting and shading. I’ve got 27 days to get it done. Might have to work on my off time.

I have about 6 weeks for the first project I talked about … But the girls are out of school in 11 days and I’d really like to be done with it! So we can play! Which reminds me. We have art to pick up!

See it’s not about setting aside the time for me. I’m quite entrenched!

Commend what you do to Yahweh, and what you plan will be achieved.

Proverbs 16:3 NJB

For behold, he who forms the mountains and creates the wind, and declares to man what is his thought, who makes the morning darkness, and treads on the heights of the earth – the Lord, the God of hosts, is his name!

Amos 4:13 (ESV)

Chapter 5 – Breathing In – Part 5

But it is the spirit in a man, the breath of the Almighty, that gives him understanding.
Job 32:8

Exercise 5: Playing Favorites

Make a list of your favorites: people, places, foods, music, colors, seasons, holidays, animals, things to do, sights, sounds, tastes, and smells.

Where to start. Where to start. Orange, red, yellow, purple, green, blue. Molten Lave, Peacock, Spring Green, Raw Umber, Bittersweet. Indigo – midnight blue. Every color in no particular order, but the more intense the better. The more saturated the better.

Sting. His music I can listen to forever. He is a poet AND a musician. An academic one. A trained one. And stage presence. The partnership of Bernie Taupin (SP?) and Elton John? Wow! There is a team. Songs by INXS are raw, but deep.

Spring, no fall, no spring, no fall. Can NEVER decide.

Animals. Big animals. Untamed animals. Predators usually. The ones with the huge eyes at the forward. Furry animals.

Christmas and Easter. Not sure which I prefer or why. But you must have snow for the first and you must have flowers for the second. I don’t have a preference for sunny skies or thunderstorms.

LOVE thunderstorms. I’d rather have overcast skies than sunshine. The colors are more vivid. Like the grass after a rain. Puddle splashing is a favorite treat. Wading in the puddles and floods.

Favorite place? Allerton Park although I haven’t been for years. Need to take the girls in the worst way. My grandparents old pasture lane is the same way, but no longer in existence. I miss the wild places that are safe by men’s ownership. When people used to have land. And you could get lost in it, but eventually find your way out.

Homemade fries. Mom’s tacos. Prison pizza. Lobster with tons of butter. French onion soup. Chips and white cheese sauce. Pa’s chicken fingers. Chocolate raspberry torte. Tiramisu. Homemade vanilla ice cream. Sue’s bierbrotchen.

Lily of the Valley, Hyacinths (purple) and lilacs are my favorite smells. Occasionally a rose can smell as sweet.

The stars in the heavens and the sunrise and sunset are my favorite free sights.

I love to spend the night in a hotel. With free breakfast.

I love people who smile or get excited when you walk into a room. You know, “mommy’s home!” I love that sincerity. The openness of joy at seeing you. No hesitation. No questioning whether it is appropriate or how you’ll be received. I just ran into a person that I used to run into all the time when walking the dog. He has the most beautiful accent. I had missed him. He leaves in a month. I’ll miss him. I hardly know him. But he is nice and friendly and he is an added bonus to anyday.

It’s cruel to meet someone new, for a moment, and then think that you’ll probably not see them again anytime soon.

I love to dig in the dirt. I truly enjoy digging up weeds with a vengeance. I like to shop for flowers. I get excited to see them come back every year. But I prefer to be inside. I’m not sure why.

I love surprises. Like a little shower in only one spot right beside you. An owl swooping by not once but twice. A mouse peeping out of the stove. A cat watching you walk by. An enormous bug digging through the wood chips at the park. A raccoon scurrying toward the drain. A scruffy fox sneaking across the cornfields. A fuzzy caterpillar climbing on a Christmas tree.

The smell of an old library. The smell of MY house.

The feel of my covers at night. The sound of a thunderstorm at night and first thing in the morning.

The feel of floating in a pool all by yourself. Cool water on a hot day. Small ripples.

Butterflies! How can I forget butterflies! Ginormous ones on your screen door. Like a Luna moth or Cecropia moth. Ok… moths too! Flutterbys.

Powerful music that grabs you down deep and doesn’t let you go. It makes you want to be a part of it.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13

There is no Joel 4:13