Chapter 2 – Listening – Part 4

In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.
Psalm 5:3

Exercise 4: Hopes and Longings

Complete each of these statements.

I always hoped that I’d … have gotten to the end. I guess I always thought that I would get to the point where I would be done. I would be right where I should be and I would be done. I wouldn’t realize that one place was perhaps temporary. I always thought I would have a job where I would remain for life. Strange, huh? And now I see that we are never done until we die.

I wish I had the courage to … tell the right person at the right moment exactly what I am thinking I want to do. I wish I had the courage to do what I feel I should be doing without feeling guilty for doing it.

If I could go back in time, I would … have demanded music lessons, art lessons, and dance lessons. I would have auditioned for dramas. I would have read more books meant for children and less of the books meant for adults. I would have read more literature, and less sensationalized, money-driven drivel.

Why were these things deferred? How would life be different if they had not been deferred? How can these things be actualized today? The lessons were deferred because there was no money or time. And I don’t think we realized that I could or should or would want to do those things. I wasn’t directed … And being DONE is deferred until God decides my time here is done. That’s out of my control. But I think I should be living as though I would be done tomorrow or in the next hour. I defer from discussing what I would like to be doing because I always feel like I am being deferred. Lol. How would things be different today if they hadn’t been deferred? I would be able to use my skills, talents and experience already. I would always have to be using them and improving upon them and learning new techniques, but I would already have a firm foundation to build upon. If I myself hadn’t been deferred, I hope that I would be consumed and challenged with amazing things for the glory of God instead of confused, distracted, angry and bored. And if I were done? Well, that is that. I cannot “actualize” being DONE today, but I can accept that I’m not done yet and that is not how the world works. And I can live differently. There is still little time or money, but some wonderful people have at least led me in the right direction for lessons in some areas. And I can do things without a degree in most instances. And I can choose to be open and talk about what I want to do or I can shut up, stop complaining, and do a lovely job of what I already have on my table.

I’m a lovely mess. Sorry. It’s fun. I never just allow myself to ramble … It’s actually kind of hard to not go back and fix it.

May the words of my mouth and the mediation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Psalm 19:14

The sons of Kenaz: Othniel and Seraiah; and the sons of Othniel: Hathath and Meonothai.

1 Chronicles 4:13 (ESV)

Hmmmm. Descendents of Judah …

Chapter 2 – Listening – Part 3

In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.
Psalm 5:3

Exercise 3: “But Why Wait?”

Finish each of these statements.

I would be practicing my art if only … I had a better portable laptop, but why wait? I knew where I could go to get the right instruction, but why wait? There were more opportunities, but why wait? I didn’t anticipate rejection, but why wait?

I’ll start making time for my art when … My time isn’t so cut up between family, work and church, but why wait?

I’d be doing my art now if it weren’t for … I don’t have a good place to do it, but why wait? I have no private place that is just my own that cannot be breached, but why wait?

Now go back and add “But why wait?” to the end of the three statements.

I get so exasperated. I’ve heard that there is a book about how political correctness destroyed America. I tend to agree. It might be destroying the church as well. I understand that a seminary will not turn a person away. The “correct” thing to say is that an institution will not say no to a call from God. But what if it isn’t in their gifts? One could argue that God can and will use them. But what if they turn people off or away? What if they could be better used by God elsewhere. American Idol isn’t politically correct. They have a tendency to be honest. Painfully so. You CAN NOT sing. How about you CAN NOT preach. Again … neither could Paul or John until the Spirit took hold of them. God works His strength through our weakness. But what if what is coming across is just “bad”? Why would you coerce someone to do something that they would not naturally tend to do? Why would you beg someone to do something that isn’t in their nature? Especially when you have someone who is gifted in that area and WANTS to do it. No coercion or begging necessary? It’s politically correct. I need to coin a phrase. I cannot be spiritually correct. It must be religiously correct, but not quite. Religiositally correct? Getting close … Welcome to my free form free for all Artist Daybook. Where I can get stuff out and move on!

But why wait? I have been shelved. I have been put in a queue. UGH!

May the words of my mouth and the mediation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Psalm 19:14

And he said to him, “Say now to her, ‘See, you have taken all this trouble for us; what is to be done for you? Would you have a word spoken on your behalf to the king or to the commander of the army?” She answered, “I dwell among my own people.”

2 Kings 4:13 (ESV)

Chapter 2 – Listening – Part 2

In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.
Psalm 5:3

Did something traumatic occur in your life that caused you to give up on being an artist? Or did you gradually spend less and less time practicing your art until you were out of the habit?

Certainly nothing traumatic ever happened to me. I think peer pressure and criticism happened to me and a healthy dose of adulthood. I used to sing solos. I knew I wasn’t the best. But I could sing and I did. I was willing. I think it was about senior year and we had several shows to deliver. The song my choir director chose for me was a good song that was finally in my new, voice-changed range. I loved it. But there was this word “power” that was sung over and over. And apparently I have a Midwestern twang that was just painful on the ears. She worked me over how to say that word. But she had a habit of doing it right before a performance and I didn’t hear her correctly. I was dealing with butterflies. Normal and natural, but she didn’t have my ear. One day in particular she really was at me about it, and I had other issues going on and I threatened to not sing it. So she let me be, but I never sang another solo.

The other issues were my peers teasing me. And I didn’t need that.

I did take choir in college for one year. And it just wasn’t worth the effort. We never really performed. I wasn’t good enough to be in the choir that did that. And I really didn’t care for the songs we sang. I was used to either Show Choir or church choir and this was neither.

Exercise 2: The Way We Were

Think back to the last time you felt really creative. How old were you? What were you working on and how did you feel about being an artist at that time?

I started feeling creative about seven years ago, maybe eight. When I was young, I was always creating and doodling and coloring. Then, in high school, college prep attacked me. I had time for one thing and one thing alone. I chose choir. It made sense. No one even suggested an art class. I certainly didn’t think of it.

So about the time I was 32, I was asked to paint something big. I think someone asked if I could do it, and I said yes. I knew I could paint, just didn’t have an opportunity. And I monster was born. Now I live for the times to paint.

First I was working on backdrops for Vacation Bible School and then I was working on Displays for the Children’s Department. One place I was working with paints. The other place, I was using different mediums and a bunch of staples!

And how did I feel? Amazing. I am always amazed when I am done. Amazed that it can be done.

Back to something that made me stop doing it … well, apparently the big grand over the top displays are not worth so much effort. Because when I’m working on them, it doesn’t look like I am working. And it would be in all of our best interest to always look busy … And looking back, that really sapped the creativity out of me.

May the words of my mouth and the mediation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Psalm 19:14

Hahaha. There was no 2 Samuel 4:13. So now I don’t feel so bad that I forgot it!

Ben-geber, in Ramoth-gilead (he had the villages of Jair the son of Manasseh, which are in Gilead, and he had the region of Argob, which is in Bashan, sixty great cities with walls and bronze bars);

1 Kings 4:13 (ESV)

Chapter 2 – Listening – Part 1

In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.
Psalm 5:3

Exercise 1: Hearing Things

Make a list of some of the sounds you hear on an average day, both the pleasant and the unpleasant ones, from the time you get up in the morning until you retire at night.

Alarm clock, shower, heat & vent fans, Between the Lions intro, dog crying, dog tags jingling, fish tank buzzing, coffee pot grinding and brewing, dogs toenails dancing on the floor, birds, lots of them, chirping, the wind rushing by my ears, street light buzzing, city bus driving way too fast, kids whining, kids giggling, piano playing, music, car whining, DSIs bells and whistles, movie songs, warning bell, tires squealing on the pavement, squishy shoes, stampeding footsteps on the stairs, good friends voices, the ding of my phone, phones ringing, sound of big transportation vehicles, organ played quietly, organ played in full force, dead silence, quiet, microwave beeping, stove backing up, stern words, laughing, southern accents, creak in the stairs, creak/squeak in the hallway, tornado sirens, ambulance sirens, static on the walkie talkie.

Go back and highlight or put a star next to the positive ones and put a zero next to the ones that really annoy you.

Write down your favorite memorizing technique:

I love to make a poem or song out of a verse or phrase. Add rhythm to it. Chop it up into manageable bits. Make pictures for the words. But mostly I like to be able to sing it. If I can put a verse to music, not only will I remember it, but my daughter will too!        

May the words of my mouth and the mediation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Psalm 19:14

2 Samuel 4:13 (ESV)

Chapter 1 – Beginning

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.
John 1:1-3

I think an artist is: someone who creates something new or different, and lovely or eye-catching, and provocative or inspiring. They create something that awakens or moves something in another’s spirit.

Write three words or phrases describing how you feel when you allow your artist self to take over: Focused, Euphoric, Guilty

What do these three words or phrases tell you about what creative activity once meant or means to you? It is consuming and rewarding, but seems selfish or useless - not worthy of the time, money or effort.

Write three words or phrases that describe how you feel when you are engaged in activities that don’t involve your artist self: Accomplishment, Busy Work, Bored

What does this exercise tell you about how you view these two sides of yourself? This shows me that I feel guilty for doing what I love to do because there seems to be no tangible benefits. I don’t mind doing “work” because at least I get paid for it and nobody will hold it against me. I am willing to work and work and work in order to earn my keep. But I would freely do what I love to do. I beg to be allowed to do that which fulfills me.

Write any words of discouragement that have dissuaded you from pursuing your talents as a career or a pastime. “Nobody ever makes a career of this. They do it on the side as a hobby.” “But how can you make a living with an English degree? What profession does it prepare you for?” “That thing that Alissa always does.” “That’s just what she does.” “That’s nice, but it would be better if …”

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Romans 12:2

When he arrived, Eli was sitting on his seat by the road watching, for his heart trembled for the ark of God. And when the man came into the city and told the news, all the city cried out.

1 Samuel 4:13 (ESV)

The Creative Call: An Artist’s Response to the Way of the Spirit by Janice Elsheimer

Introduction – Wondering

It is not natural for me to stand still. There is always a rhythm, a beat, in my head. “I’ve got the music in me.” It doesn’t really matter what the song is, I’m within it.

You want to frustrate me? Require me to sing along to a song I have never heard before. Give me the words, but don’t give me the music. Don’t play the melody for me. Go one step further and have the band or choir singing in harmony. Force me to find the melody. Watch me pout.

It is very easy for me to accept a new song when presented properly. And some songs … well, I can hear the opening notes, and I KNOW I will love the song. I think it has something to do with memory. Very much like smell. You know what I mean? You smell cologne. It happens to be the cologne your grandfather wore on Sunday mornings. Immediately you are taken back to the good old days. And you burst into smiles.

It’s the same thing with music sometimes. Why, just Friday night, I heard the beginning of a song. I looked at Christopher and said, “It could be U2.” He had to agree. I told him, if at some point the song picked up in tempo, I would be hooked. It never did. It didn’t fulfill the requirements of Where the Streets Have No Name. But I still liked it.

I’ve recently wondered what anyone could possibly have expected of me … I was raised on pipe organ hymns on Sunday mornings and rock ‘n’ roll the rest of the week. Why wouldn’t I enjoy both? Why wouldn’t I need both? Why wouldn’t I feel the need to rock out for my Lord?

So, without knowing it, I kind of ended up where I should be, at least some of the time. When I lead the children in song, the songs really run the gamut. Some of them truly rock out. Others are rearranged renditions of old favorites. We get to clap. We get to dance. We get to rejoice. I’m not required to stand in a predefined box.

I’ve been in a box sooooo verrrrrrry looooooong! It’s lovely to get out!

So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife. And he went in to her, and the Lord gave her conception, and she bore a son.
Ruth 4:13 (ESV)

Chapter 7 – Supernatural Church

I cannot believe this is the last chapter.

Two things. Chan talks about quenching the Spirit. And not just quenching the Spirit within ourselves, but quenching the Spirit in others. In fact, he talks about the modern American Christian Church and its uncanny ability to quench the Spirit of those who wish to live radically. Heck. I’m not even talking about those living radically. The Church can crush your most motivated and dynamic moment. It may not be intentional, but I think there are hoards of people that would love to serve, but are being hindered or have just stopped trying.

This isn’t to pick upon something or someone. But it is strikingly sad that 40-some modern American, aka comfortable, children are sponsoring A child in a third-world country. One. Granted, the church is doing it in their behalf. But One? And many of us are not even aware of it.

In the book, Chan speaks about a 14-year-old girl who is sponsoring 14. ON HER OWN with her own income. It is Chan’s prayer that no one talks her out of it. Think about that. 14 kids at $30 a month! I know my parents wouldn’t have allowed me to do that.

So I’m walking my dog this morning and thinking about that … Here in America, we have a whole new generation of teen moms. Babies having babies. In some cases, the babies are a status symbol. Seriously. There was a news report yesterday morning about a reality TV show about teen moms. There are girls having babies so that they can have the CHANCE to be on the show. Seriously.

How can we bring the two together? Wouldn’t it be amazing if these girls could have enormous families through sponsoring starving children?

The new “belly” program.

I admit, there is something attractive about having my own little family … I don’t mean to belittle this in any way. But I remember how very much I wanted one of those adorable children on the TV for just pennies a day.

We like to amass treasure. How about treasure the little ones and amass them?

Sisera called out all his chariots, 900 chariots of Iron, and all the men who were with him, from Harosheth-hagoyim to the river Kishon.
Judges 4:13 (ESV)