The Problem of Sin

When I was very young, I had a very simplistic concept of sin. I was taught the Ten Commandments and I was more concerned that I would not be able to recite them all verbatim than I was concerned with understanding what they meant. Thou shalt not murder… or is it you will not kill… and is there really a big difference? At least I have not taken the life of another person through violence. Okay, I have that one under the belt. I think I can keep that one fairly well. Is that number 5 or 7?

Then Jesus threw that rod in the wheel – anyone so much as hates their neighbor and you have already broken the commandment not to kill. Really? You cannot even think it and it is a sin? Okay, so I have broken that commandment. Many times over. Let’s pick another one.

Truth is I would sit in my pew at church – still when I was little – and listen to us confess our sins and promise to do better. In my mind, I believed that I would honestly try to do better and keep a clean slate for the week. I would be the best “me” I could be. When I got older I realized with clarity that I had no sooner stepped out of the sanctuary, than all of my good intentions were blown away by the wind. A puff really.

I believe many of us are still operating under this misguided idea that we can be good. Or even that we are already good enough. We are at least much better than others. And if we can be good enough on our own, we don’t need anything else. (especially not God?)

So how do we define our goodness? By how smart or talented we are. If not, then at least by how smart or talented our children are. By the job that we have? By the art we create? By the number of people who look up to us. By the number of people who follow us? By the house we own or the car we drive? By the money we can make. Or the people we know.

Do we define our goodness against the evil in the world? We live in a free country. We belong to organizations that stop bad things from happening. We belong to the “right” political party. We give to charity. We don’t approve of dysfunctional lifestyles. We’re not divorced. We don’t drink. We don’t smoke. We adopt strays – human or animal.

How do we define sin and how do we distance ourselves from it. How do we attempt to turn the tables to redirect suspicion? “She’s a gossip!” Even if what she’s gossiping about – about you – happens to be true. Still you’re the victim. We make sin out to be the bad things that happen to us. Against us.

No, sin is our inability to accept that we are not good enough. Our inability to accept that we do infinitely bad things – even if we only think them. Our attempts to redirect the bad away from us. To make ourselves look good. To always be looking out for number one – ourselves. To prove that we are better or the best.

The sin is making “me” the ultimate end. Putting ourselves on the pedestal by any of the means necessary and available. This is so hard. Exhausting really. Always trying to prove to others and especially to ourselves that we are worthy of the rare space available on the lifeboat.

All we need to define ourselves. The easy way. Is to look towards that which is truly the ultimate. The beginning and the end. God and His sinless Son. That perfect relationship that we once had and then lost. We have been trying to regain it ever since whether we knew it or not. Filling ourselves up with everything – pride mostly – that we thought would fill the emptiness. But what we really needed was to put aside all forms of pride and accept the loving relationship with our Maker. Accept His Son who was able to do what we could not.

Not saying that it is easy. I certainly cannot get it right. But that is okay, because I know that I am sinful and I know that there is HOPE for a restored relationship someday. It’s not about me. Never was. Never will be. I came with nothing. I’ll leave with nothing. But I’ll gain what I have been missing – God.