Wilderness Mentality #10
Yesterday, I wanted to stop writing. I just wanted to ignore #9 and #10. And truthfully, that would have been okay. The world would not have been lost in chaos. Other people have quit. Other people can read 157 pages of a book and decide that they won't miss the other 235.
Today is different. Part of it is the fact that I am done with that book. Another part is that I have another book waiting. But most importantly, I was finally convicted this morning and I recognized it.
Yes, I like things my way. You do steps A, B, C, D1, D2 and D3 and you are rewarded with x3. And you're done in exactly 6 weeks and you get a grade or a certificate or a paycheck or a pat on the back. But God doesn't work like that. And today, I am sincerely grateful.
God surprised me. And so, to commemorate the moment, here's the story of Alissa's first recognizable conviction:
Sunday 6th, 6:20 a.m., walking the dog on the West End in snow and ice. Reaching the corner of Linden and Forest.
I'm thinking about Sunday School opening. 5 weeks ago, I used the wrong unit. I did week 1 from Best Friends instead of week 1 from Construction Zone. And now it is time to do the same Bible Lesson and story again. The Bible Lesson: Jesus is your best friend.
The Bible story: Jesus visits Mary and Martha. Martha is busy working and Mary is sitting and listening to Jesus. Martha wants Jesus to tell Mary to help her. But Jesus tells Martha that Mary is doing the right thing and He will not take it away from her.
The last time I did the lesson, it was great. I was in the zone. Then I found out I did the wrong one and it defeated me, unfortunately. And I've been dreading having to do it again …
So I was asking God for the opportunity to do the story again, but in a new way, with new insight. And He talked to me!! And I knew it. It wasn't my idea.
God said, you read a lot of books for your job and you do a wonderful job of it. You not only read them, but you remember them and can easily access them to tell others about them. I created you with a mind to do this and it is lovely. You should continue to do this for your job, but I have something more important for you to use that mind for.
There is only ONE book you need to know and I want you to know it well. My Word. So you can share it with others.
And I want you to know my Son as well and better than you know all of those books. So you can share Him with others.
And I want you to know my people as well and better than you know your books. So you can share them with others.
Your books cannot love you. Your books cannot help you. Your books cannot be there for you. But I AM. I am your best friend. People are friends in a way that books cannot be.
The lovely part about what He told me … there is no goal to be reached. There is no endpoint to work towards. And He showed me a glimpse of how I am a part of His Purpose. And that I was uniquely created to be a part of it from the beginning. And I have been giddy every since.
Yeah, in the grand scheme of things, it might have been a no brainer. But I had missed it entirely. I KNOW I am a librarian. I had forgotten that I am God's tool and that I can play a part. I've been looking too hard. I wanted God to tell me what to do. And He did. Now I have no excuse.
For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.
Romans 5:19 (NIV)
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