Chapter 4 – Forgiving – Part 1

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Colossians 3:13

Exercise 1: Forgiving as God Forgives Us

Choose a person from the list of “discouragers” you made. Write a letter telling the person what he or she did (or neglected to do) that discouraged you in your dream of becoming an artist. Tell the person what you remember, how it made you feel then, and maybe even how it still makes you feel. Explain that you are forgiving them to free yourself from resentment, not because whatever they did was right or understandable.

Dear “names withheld”,

            You sat in the audience with a frown. You looked annoyed and put out. Or you never even came. You never chose to see or hear. It was too much trouble to make the effort. You never encouraged me to do more. You never suggested I try. Your silence was all I noticed and it hurt. My dreams and visions were inconveniences if they were even acknowledged. Money was always an obstacle. I’m still “playing”. I still have hobbies. They should be extras instead of priorities. You put my efforts down openly to others in front of me.

            I don’t feel like an artist. And if I am, it certainly isn’t important or vital to my being. I still feel pushed to do something more worthwhile or useful even if it drains me and burns me out. I always feel guilty when I’m doing something creative. “Crafty things” have to be done on the side. They won’t be paid for or reimbursed. I hide what I do and my excitement for it so that it won’t be put down. I do things on my own time, because I don’t want to be reprimanded for wasting other’s time. Or worse - stopped ... prevented.

            I want to forgive you and move on, but the wounds are so fresh. I’m not ready to free myself from resentment. Just when I’m starting to see what I could be … I’m held back because of my anger and hurt and frustration. And you don’t even know what I’m capable of with just a little encouragement.

            Spirit, please speak on my behalf. You know what I need to break free. I need some love. For what I could be and not just for what I was. It’s all a mask. Please, help me to forgive. I need freedom. It’s not worth anymore of my time.

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgive.
Luke 6:37

Keep hold of instruction; do not let go; guard her, for she is your life.

Proverbs 4:13 (ESV)