“Example of Abraham”

And Abraham went early in the morning to the place where he had stood before the Lord.

Genesis 19:27 (ESV)

So, quiet time yet? No.

A special place to go? Almost.

It’s amazing how quickly we forget our own decisions. My room. The room I wanted to tackle to make my own. To reclaim from the toys. Well, it happened. No thanks to me. It’s clean and it’s huge. And I might have set foot in it once.

Summer is not a time for “me” time. I get up early in order to have “me” time and sometimes that doesn’t even work. The dog pesters me. A child gets up. Perhaps I’m not getting up early enough.

And more than anything, I just want to read. My books. Until I don’t wish to read anymore. Until I finish one. I don’t want quiet time. I want to fill up my head with someone else’s imaginings.

These must simply be the stresses of a mom during the summer. The time will end.

And there will even be a time when the children are grown. And I will have all the time in the world. Why am I rushing? What is the “end” that I am pushing for? When I finish one book, there will always be another.

And perhaps this blog has run its course. Maybe I don’t have anything unless I have a book to read.

Seriously. Do I even want The Quiet Time. I think I am avoiding it. I heard a new Kerry Roberts [sp?] song yesterday on my way to work. Wow! And I haven’t had much radio listening time with kids in the car. And the song was about being afraid to let (God) in? He might require something of me that I am not prepared to do or give up. He might change me. And I might not want to be that person.

I’m not prepared to listen. I don’t want a relationship. Those are too hard.

For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.

John 3:20 (ESV)