1. John writes about our human tendency to “confuse our performance in some aspect of life with our worth as a person.” What are some of the most common areas of life that people tend to use as a measure of their personal worth?
Ouch. On the nose. If I do a good job, I am worthy. If I fail, I am a failure. If I fail small, I am a big failure. If I miss one thing, I might as well have missed them all. I might have heard 24 glorious things, but if someone looks at me sternly, the 24 glorious things fly out the window. And guess what. The stern look wasn't even directed at me, I just got in between the look and its intended target.
We measure our personal worth by our families both immediate and extended. We measure our worth by the behavior of our children, the success of our spouse, the love of a mother. We measure our worth by the job that we have and the appreciation we receive for doing it. We measure our worth by the size of our paycheck too. We measure our worth by the amount of attention we get as well as by the reception we receive when we enter a room. I measure my worth by weather or not someone is willing to carry on a conversation with me or even make eye contact.
What areas of performance are you most tempted to use as a measure of your worth and what are you doing to fight this tendency?
Not just tempted, but do use on a regular basis. If I offer and I'm not taken up on it, I count myself as unworthy. If I'm not asked, I count myself as unworthy. If I say "good morning" and receive no response, I am unworthy. If I ask a question and it is not answered, I am unworthy, invisible, forgettable. I withdraw. Why bother trying. I'm just proven correct of course, 'cause if I don't initiate, nothing will happen. What's wrong with me?
Whoa! Sorry. Got carried away. What do I do to fight this? I attempt to be sincere, "real", truthful. If I want to talk to someone, I do. If I feel a nudge, I try to follow it. If nothing else, I feel better about it. And sometimes I just ponder the idea longer. Sometimes the need/necessity diminishes and I haven't put myself out on a limb. Don't rush into action. Or react rashly. Just continue to be me. Don't change me to please others. It's not about me. And usually it has nothing to do with me anyway.
Ouch. On the nose. If I do a good job, I am worthy. If I fail, I am a failure. If I fail small, I am a big failure. If I miss one thing, I might as well have missed them all. I might have heard 24 glorious things, but if someone looks at me sternly, the 24 glorious things fly out the window. And guess what. The stern look wasn't even directed at me, I just got in between the look and its intended target.
We measure our personal worth by our families both immediate and extended. We measure our worth by the behavior of our children, the success of our spouse, the love of a mother. We measure our worth by the job that we have and the appreciation we receive for doing it. We measure our worth by the size of our paycheck too. We measure our worth by the amount of attention we get as well as by the reception we receive when we enter a room. I measure my worth by weather or not someone is willing to carry on a conversation with me or even make eye contact.
What areas of performance are you most tempted to use as a measure of your worth and what are you doing to fight this tendency?
Not just tempted, but do use on a regular basis. If I offer and I'm not taken up on it, I count myself as unworthy. If I'm not asked, I count myself as unworthy. If I say "good morning" and receive no response, I am unworthy. If I ask a question and it is not answered, I am unworthy, invisible, forgettable. I withdraw. Why bother trying. I'm just proven correct of course, 'cause if I don't initiate, nothing will happen. What's wrong with me?
Whoa! Sorry. Got carried away. What do I do to fight this? I attempt to be sincere, "real", truthful. If I want to talk to someone, I do. If I feel a nudge, I try to follow it. If nothing else, I feel better about it. And sometimes I just ponder the idea longer. Sometimes the need/necessity diminishes and I haven't put myself out on a limb. Don't rush into action. Or react rashly. Just continue to be me. Don't change me to please others. It's not about me. And usually it has nothing to do with me anyway.
2. Read the quote by John Quincy Adams on pages 163-64 (and the list of his personal accomplishments that follows the quote). Tell about a time you have dealt with similar feelings about you own value and accomplishments in life.
It was over a year ago, I believe. And I saved them to prove it. I was feeling very worthless and invisible and depressed and "not needed". I started writing a little "column" shall we say to lift myself up. It went a little something like this. I'd start with a quote from someone that I admired or looked up to. A quote about me. For instance someone said, "she is so sweet, we should go help her." And then I'd write about why I was feeling so horribly about myself and then prove that I shouldn't because obviously I mean something to someone. I wrote them everyday until I felt sane again. Maybe I should go and reread them.
What does God have to say to us about these kinds of feelings?
Well, God tells me/us that these things are untrue. They are the Devil's words. He loves to attack us where it hurts most. At the heart. And there is only one place where we need to find our worth and that is in Him. He knows us better than anyone else. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He finds us worthy because He made us and we are His. And He would do anything to get us back including sacrificing His very own and perfect Son. So when others belittle us, and more importantly, when we belittle ourselves, we are not appreciating God's heavenly work. His very creation. That which He loves more than we can comprehend. How sad that must make Him when we cannot understand our own worth.
It was over a year ago, I believe. And I saved them to prove it. I was feeling very worthless and invisible and depressed and "not needed". I started writing a little "column" shall we say to lift myself up. It went a little something like this. I'd start with a quote from someone that I admired or looked up to. A quote about me. For instance someone said, "she is so sweet, we should go help her." And then I'd write about why I was feeling so horribly about myself and then prove that I shouldn't because obviously I mean something to someone. I wrote them everyday until I felt sane again. Maybe I should go and reread them.
What does God have to say to us about these kinds of feelings?
Well, God tells me/us that these things are untrue. They are the Devil's words. He loves to attack us where it hurts most. At the heart. And there is only one place where we need to find our worth and that is in Him. He knows us better than anyone else. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He finds us worthy because He made us and we are His. And He would do anything to get us back including sacrificing His very own and perfect Son. So when others belittle us, and more importantly, when we belittle ourselves, we are not appreciating God's heavenly work. His very creation. That which He loves more than we can comprehend. How sad that must make Him when we cannot understand our own worth.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV)
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV)
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