Chapter 19 – “I can’t help it; I’m just addicted to grumbling, faultfinding and complaining.”

Wilderness Mentality #4

Hey, if you’re suffering, don’t you want everyone to know it? What good is it if you don’t whine and wail when you’re being wronged? If you don’t grumble, no one will know you’re being unjustly punished. If you just take it, you’ll continue to be taken advantage of. Let them know you won’t take it silently. The more you suffer the louder your cry.

No, we’re supposed to endure suffering patiently. This is pleasing to God.

A wise friend of mine “slapped me in the face” with the following: “So it is the appreciation and trust of sinners that you crave?”

OUCH! More tears. Lots more tears. Well, when you put it that way – NO!

I wouldn’t say that I am addicted to grumbling and complaining. I was trained in it. No one is satisfied or content. Someone is always grumbling about something. Didn’t my parents come home and commiserate? You grumble first about your day and then I’ll grumble about mine. It’s a game to see who has the worst job or coworkers.

I had a horrible morning yesterday. And it just kept getting worse. And I abhor social networks. All these people jumping in with how wonderful everything is or was or will be. And I sunk deeper. Grumbled more. Why? Because I didn’t believe them. I found them to be fake. I don’t trust people who say good things.

I especially don’t trust people who say good things about me. I know the truth.

Ahhhh. I’m showing my colors this morning. I’m partaking of Wilderness Mentality #4 even as I write about it.

My only victory is that the Devil is aggressively attacking me and so I must be a threat.

Heavenly Father, fill me with thoughts of You. Show me your eternal wonders. Give me a thankful heart. Give me a content heart. Fill me with the knowledge of your blessings. Help me to endure and move on. Give me a challenge today that will consume me with Your will for me and not my own. Amen.

For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God.
1 Peter 2:19-20 (ESV

Chapter 18 – “Please make everything easy; I can’t take it if things are too hard!”

Wilderness Mentality #3

Definitely dealing with feelings concerning this subject. I have said it before and I will say it again. I consider myself retired. It’s a joke, but there is an ounce of truth if not a pint in there. I can go above and beyond when I feel like it OR I can ask for stuff to do and just go through the motions.

At the same time, I have a problem with NOT being in control. When you allow yourself to be the grudge worker, you are always being told what to do, when to do it and how to do it. It’s very easy to just follow directions and let someone else be responsible for it. However, it can drive one mad when you’re not getting to do the truly amazing stuff or can’t see a great idea take fruition.

I would call myself a dreamer and a grudge worker. I can shelve books like no one’s business. You want to see efficient and accurate working together? I can shelve 2 carts full of books, that’s 12 full shelves of books, in an hour. No kidding. Yeah, gotta see it to believe it. I was called the supershelver.

The truly cool thing is that I was dreaming the entire time. My mind was free to roam. Multitasker extraordinaire. I wrote books. In my mind. They just never got to paper because my hands and feet were too busy.

Well, I’ve reduced myself to a reading machine. I started blogging to give it more meaning. But the truth is, I wouldn’t do it if it didn’t aid me in doing my job well.

So why not stop? Why not leave the stuff behind that isn’t bringing me joy?

Cause this is easy for me. It’s not a challenge. My mind is well made for reams of knowledge, readily accessible. I don’t have to work at it. It’s not hard.

What would be hard? Leaving it for a new challenge. A new challenge without guarantee or a safety net. Something that people might not think I could do, but with God behind me, I could.

Hardest part for me is asking. God never said it would be easy. Have I just been doing easy? Heck yeah! And I’m having a hard time taking exhortations and affirmations from people for things that are no brainers for me. Praise me for taking on a challenge and succeeding. I might not be the best, but I would give 125%.

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
Galatians 6:9 (ESV)

I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13 (ESV)

Chapter 17 – “Someone do it for me; I don’t want to take the responsibility.”

Wilderness Mentality #2

I am remembering a Sunday School lesson from a few units back. We learned that the Israelites grumbled, Moses prayed and the Lord provided. If something went wrong, the Israelites found someone to blame. They complained about Moses. They complained about Aaron. They complained about Joshua and Caleb. They complained about their food. They complained about their water. They complained about their circumstances. Were they ever happy? Content? Satisfied?

Moses went to the Lord. He took their complaints to the Lord. He took their sins to the Lord. God provided by giving Moses the solution.

The Israelites needed a mediator. They couldn’t operate without a supervisor. They needed someone to tell them what to do and where to go. They were helpless on their own. They couldn’t even follow directions.

We aren’t much different today. When something isn’t the way we want it or like it, we complain. When someone does something that isn’t the way we want it or like it, we complain. We are judgmental, critical and suspicious. Sound familiar?

How many people actually offer a solution? How many people offer themselves to do the hard work? How many people are willing to be on the receiving end of the complaining and still push onward and forward? How many people are up to the challenge?

Responsibility doesn’t stop at your career or calling. You are required to take care of the blessings you are given. You are required to take responsibility for your money and how you use it. You are required to take responsibility for the care of your house and car. If you are too lazy to maintain your vehicle, perhaps you should not have it.

We have a responsibility to care for our children and raise them up in God’s Love and Word. How many of us leave the important stuff to the teachers and Sunday School teachers, trusting that someone else will give them the tools to find Salvation?

If people took more responsibility for their lives, families and possessions, could it be a better world? We say, Build the Home, Change the World. Are we building? Or are we watching others build for us? And then complaining about how they are doing it?

Of course, on the other side of the coin, are the people who wish to do it all and do it their own way and no one else can possibly do it better … “It’s all MY responsibility.” Not only can I do it, but I can do it better.

The next day Moses said to the people, “You have sinned a great sin. And now I will go up to the Lord; perhaps I can make atonement for your sin.” So Moses returned to the Lord and said, “Alas, this people has sinned a great sin. They have made for themselves gods of gold. But now, if you will forgive their sin – but if not, please blot me out of your book that you have written.”
Exodus 32:30-32 (ESV)

Chapter 16 – “My future is determined by my past and my present.”

Wilderness Mentality #1

We have returned to the Israelites 40-year pilgrimage through the wilderness that should have been an 11-day trip. Why did it take them so long? Because they had a wilderness mentality.

The Israelites had a firm grasp of where they had come from – Egypt. And what they had been – slaves. The Israelites knew where they were – lost. And what they were – wanderers. The Israelites still doubted their future home – the Promised Land. And they were disbelieving of who they were to be – God’s chosen people.

God wants us to look forward to Him. God wants us to lift our face to Him. God wants us to trust our future to Him.

But the unknown is frightening. Some people don’t know if there will be a meal for them tonight. Some people do not know if they will find shelter tonight. People are of uncertain of the guarantee of a job tomorrow. Today may be “normal”, but it might all come crashing down tomorrow.

God asks us not think on yesterday for it is already past. He also says not to be anxious about tomorrow for it’s not even here yet. Only concern yourself with right now. There are enough cares right at this moment. Cast those cares on God. He will take care of you. He is with you every moment. When your eyes are on Him each moment, your burden in lifted.

Where you come from is of no matter. Where you are now is of no consequence. God has plans to prosper you and not to harm you. He can take every bad thing and use it for good. And He can take every good thing and use it for amazing wonders.

And even if I do look back at every event, situation, trauma, and triumph that made me who I am today … why, I wouldn’t be me without them. But I do not need to dwell on them or relive them.

If you’re always looking over your shoulder, you miss the gorgeous scenery along the way and you might even run into a door instead of walking through it to a new and greater opportunity.

The Lord said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him, “Lift up your eyes and look from the place where you are, northward and southward and eastward and westward, for all the land that you see I will give to you and to your offspring forever.”
Genesis 13:14-15

Chapter 15 – The Mind of Christ

This was a very long chapter full of all things good. I wish that it had been broken into mini chapters so that I could address each one individually – spend more time with it. I copied the outline below to reinforce the information because there was so much there to digest. I am a bit confused/amazed that so much time was spent on the negative, a chapter per each abnormality, and then the positive was crammed into one chapter. So I’ve been stewing on the negativity that has developed in my mind. And feel like the positive has been flung at me. This chapter concluded Part 2. I am hoping that Part 3 expounds upon what follows:

1.     Think positive thoughts. A worthy pursuit when you choose to pursue it. The best idea for me came from this section. Choose Life, not Death. When you are thinking and you realize that your thoughts are making you miserable – they are bringing you death – you can know that the thoughts are placed in your head by the Devil. They are not your own nor are they from God.

a.     Overcome depression

                     i.     Identify the nature and cause of the problem

                   ii.     Recognize that depression steals life and light

                 iii.     Remember the good times

                  iv.     Praise the Lord in the midst of the problem

                    v.     Ask for God’s help

                  vi.     Listen to the Lord

                vii.     Pray for deliverance

              viii.     Seek God’s wisdom, knowledge and leadership.

b.    Use your weapons

2.    Be God-minded. It’s hard to say, but I find this difficult. I don’t even know how to respond here. I DO know that praising God is a surefire way to chase the Devil right out of your head. And perhaps I’m having such a difficult time because my relationship with Him is not close enough. I need to be closer. One of my new favorite songs is Sean McDonald’s, I think that’s his name, Closer. “Looking for a color in a shade of grey. Looking for love in a drop of rain.” That one. The refrain goes, “I just want to be closer to you, I just want to be closer. I am Yours. You can have all of me, anything, everything. I just want to be closer.” God has been playing it for me ALL the time. I turn the radio on and it’s there. Sometimes it makes me cry and I cannot sing along. It’s become my little prayer.

a.     Meditate on God and His works

b.    Fellowship with the Lord

3.    Be “God-Loves-Me” minded. And if I have a hard time knowing God, how can I possibly understand how much He loves me? How can one comprehend that? But even while we were sinning, He sent His Son to be sin in our place. Even while I am doing the opposite of what He wants me to do, He still wants me. He doesn’t give up. He never leaves. He’s always there. He always has TIME for me. The author says that the more you contemplate God’s Love For You, the more you will understand it and be enthralled. The more you read about it in His Word, the more will be revealed for you.

a.     Fear not

b.    Be righteousness-conscious, not sin-conscious

4.    Have an exhortative mind. My gift is NOT exhortation. I have to work at it. There are very few people that I actually like and naturally think good thoughts about. Maybe that’s a little harsh. But yesterday, after reading this, when I noticed I was being critical of someone, I tried to find the good in them. Instead of being jealous of what they have or what they are or how others relate to them, I tried to put them on my team and be thankful that they are on my side working towards the same goals. It helped get rid of some negative thoughts.

5.    Develop a thankful mind. I tend to dwell on what I don’t have or want. I am so blessed. Overly so. I guess it’s still true at this age. If you have curly hair, you want straight. If you’re tall, you want to be petite. If you are gifted with hospitality, you want craftsmanship. I need to be thankful that I am who I am and that God made all kinds of people any every kind of fashion to fill in the blanks. Again, we are all on one team and who wants to live in Stepford?

a.     Be thankful at all times

b.    Offer thanks always for everything

6.    Be Word-minded. You know I’ve been praying for a rested mind, alert and receptive. There were moments yesterday when my mind was almost functioning normally. The Devil would place a word in my head and I recognized it for what it was and replaced it with God’s Truth. There have been 2-3 Bible verses that I have been playing over and over again in my head. God put a new one in there and provided revelation to me. It was hand-picked and meant for me. And I needed it desperately.

a.     Meditate and prosper

b.    Meditate and be healed

c.     Hear and harvest

d.    Read and reap

e.     Receive and welcome the Word

f.      Choose life! CHOOSE LIFE!!

… But we have the mind of Christ.

1 Corinthians 2:16b (ESV)

Chapter 14 – A Passive Mind

And finally, an abnormal mind is a passive mind. To think, I have been praying for passivity – I don’t want to care anymore. I don’t want things to matter so much to me. I just want to let it go and, well, do nothing.

Instead, I should have been praying for a rested mind, alert and receptive.

But no, I’ve been praying for an empty mind. What was I thinking?

When you get rid of the demons in your mind, they leave an unoccupied space. It is crucial that you fill it up again with the Goodness of all things God. Otherwise, the demons come back to their old realm and they bring their friends along for the ride.

I’ve heard this. I knew this. Was it in a class? Was it in the Bible? Does it matter? I forgot it and have paid for my ignorance.

I had the opportunity to “clean house” about a year ago. I was fresh and new, but I did not fill the empty spaces satisfactorily and not only did my “house” become cluttered again, it got exponentially worse.

I need to clean house again. And again. And again. And fill it with the right things and leave no room for the wrong things.

It’s not just me and my cluttered mind. Our culture has so much recreational time that we’ve all become very passive when we aren’t busy. And so many of us aren’t busy with the right things. Our jobs take the majority of our time. Then our own recreation comes second. Then our families if and when we are rested enough to enjoy them. And God is Sunday morning.

How many of us come home and turn off our heads and turn on our favorite drug? Television? Computer? Daydreams? Video Games? Food?

How many of us set aside the time to read the Bible and pray? Dedicated time with the Lord everyday on our own.

He’s our best friend and He wants to spend time with us. He is ready to fill those empty spaces with something good and wholesome and pure. And we just have to be receptive. We don’t have to work – just receive.

And give no opportunity to the devil.
Ephesians 4:27 (ESV)

Neither give place to the devil.

(KJV)

Chapter 13 – A Judgmental, Critical and Suspicious Mind

My prayer is for a rested mind, both alert and receptive. I find that I walk away from the book and the battle takes up again and I can feel it. I am struggling more, but this is a good sign. The Devil has sent his demons – I must be a threat. This is something to rejoice in and not succumb to.

An abnormal mind, like mine, is characterized by busyness, distraction, logic, doubt, disbelief, anxiety, worry, judgment, criticism and suspicion. Do you feel the exponential rise? I am ready for the next section of the book … but I think there is one more chapter of abnormality.

I know I said something about Jenny Garth not too long ago. She is recently divorced from Jim Carey. I wouldn’t normally pay much attention to the words of her mouth as much as the clothing of her body. But she said something that has stuck with me. Wisdom.

Take your complaint, “He doesn’t pay any attention to me. They never acknowledge I’m there. No one lets me do anything.” And reverse the subject and the object. “I don’t pay attention to him. I never acknowledge they’re there. I don’t let anyone do anything.” OUCH! It’s true. One reaps what one sows.

If you choose to be critical of those around you, rather than loving, you are throwing LOVE to the devil who will turn around and attack you with the very weapon you have chosen.

Not to mention, no one really wants to hang around with a judgmental person.

Wow! And here’s another thing imparted upon me by two people within days of each other … The first – when you say you don’t like to be surrounded by drama, chances are you are the one creating the drama. And the second – when you preempt a sentence with “I am not a germophobe,” you probably are. Anytime you have to state up front that you are not something – you probably are. “I don’t like to gossip, but”, “I hate to argue, but,” I’m not one to                                , but …”

This goes hand in hand with how can you possibly remove the speck from your brother’s eye when you have a log in your own. Remove your log first and then assist your brother with his speck.

Yes, I am judgmental, critical and suspicious. How could I expect others to not to reward me with the same treatment? Were I to love others instead, surely I would be rewarded with love myself.

Do not judge others’ sin, but recognize your own and strive to overcome it. Do not criticize others’ weaknesses, but love them and see God’s strength through them. Do not be suspicious of others, but trust them. This does not mean trust everything that is your being to them, but trust that what they do is with the best intentions in mind.

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.

Matthew 7:1-2 (ESV)

Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.
Matthew 7:6 (ESV)

Chapter 12 – An Anxious and Worried Mind

Heavenly Father, please help me to practice a rested mind. On my own, it runs busy without even realizing it.

Almighty Father, please help me to practice a rested mind. On my own, it is distracted at the drop of a hat.

Merciful Father, please help me to practice a rested mind. On my own, I choose to depend upon reasoning.

Beautiful Father, please help me to practice a rested mind. On my own, it is doubtful and doubled.

Loving Father, please help me to practice a rested mind. On my own, I continue to disbelieve and disobey.

Faithful Father, please help me to practice a rested mind. On my own, anxiety is triggered by most anything – a natural response.

Bountiful Father, please help me to practice a rested mind. On my own, I will not only worry about yesterday and tomorrow, but every moment in between.

Forgiving Father, please train me in a rested, alert and receptive mind. Show me how to listen to my Spirit and my heart. I long to be closer to normal. I want to be closer to You. Amen.

Chapter 12 is the reason that I have this book at this very time that God planned for my benefit. A dear friend of mine had just finished this chapter and said that I must read it as well for we are alike in this way. Of course, I would NEVER start in the middle and thank the Lord for my quirks, for I needed every chapter leading up to it.
I have been battling anxiety for most of my life. I dare say I stopped fighting it at all the last few years and simply gave in. Something goes wrong or I receive a foreboding sensation and all blood pressure is lost and I am panicky. Breathe, Alissa, breathe.

My alarm’s volume was set too low and I did not wake up at my normal time this morning, rather I awoke, to panic, an hour to an hour and half later than usual. I fought to glorify God that He knew I needed rest above all else and planned this day in advance for me. I fought to thank him for waking me up in time that I really didn’t need to rush, but just adjust how I spent my time. I spoke aloud of these battles to my girls so that they knew and I reinforced that God takes care of His children.

This day is already so many times over changed for how I intended to use it. And I fight to trust that God’s plans are much better than mine. He will bless it and I will benefit from it.

One of my gifts is time and a generous nature, but it is also flexibility. It is really not that hard for me to alter the way I spend a day to turn aside for others. It is hard for me to rejoice in that ability. I’d rather rage against the abuse and disrespect of others against my time.

A good friend of mine reminds me that worry is a sin against God. Worry is a sign of my lack of trust in Him. She is so right. I know this. I see this. And yet every email, message I send, I send with worry and anxiety for the response I will receive. And every response I open is approached with worry and anxiety for the answer I will see. I can no longer use the telephone without trepidation. My heartbeat quickens at the thought. How can I live like this? The answer is – I cannot.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made know to God.
Philippians 4:6 (ESV)

And which of you being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
Matthew 6:27 (ESV)

Chapter 11 – A Doubtful and Unbelieving Mind

A normal mind is resting, but alert and receptive. A normal mind is resting, but alert and receptive. A normal mind is resting, but alert and receptive. A normal mind is resting, but alert and receptive. A normal mind is resting, but alert and receptive.

An abnormal mind is busy, distracted, logical, doubtful and unbelieving.

A doubtful mind holds to two opinions and cannot decide which is the right one or it vacillates between the two depending upon which suits its purpose. Different versions of the Bible might refer to this as being double-minded.

My favorite class offered at church was called Spiritual Warfare and we learned about being double-minded in the following way: the Devil places a wall in our mind between that which is heavenly and that which is earthly. God wants all of our mind, but the Devil prevents this by creating that block within our mind through strongholds or belief systems that our minds have been trained to believe even though they are Biblically false.

For example, one of my current "strongholds" seems to be that I am not worthy. The godly portion of my mind knows this to be false. I am worthy and the proof is that God loves me so much that He sent His son to take my punishment for my sins. However, Satan has set up a stronghold within my mind that says if I were truly worthy, my life would be different. I would be more important, or I would have a voice, or I would be busy. Hahaha. I am doubtful.

A normal mind is not doubtful. It is strong in the knowledge of the Truth. God's truth.

A doubtful mind is not the same as an unbelieving mind. The problem with an unbelieving mind is that unbelief, disbelief?, leads to disobedience. "Disobedience is disregarding the voice of the Lord, or whatever God is speaking to us personally, not just transgressing the Ten Commandments."

So you hear clearly God calling you to do something, you don't believe you have the skills to do it, (or that God will empower you to do it,) OR you don't believe that God would actually ask you to do it and so you disobey out of unbelief. This is the Devil operating in your mind. And it takes me back to those pesky mind-binding spirits that prevent you from believing what you used to believe!

Elijah went before the people and said, “How long will you waver between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.” But the people said nothing.
1 Kings 18:21 (NIV)

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.
James 1:5-7 (NIV)

Chapter 10 – A Confused Mind

Let’s review: A normal mind is resting, but alert and receptive.

An abnormal mind, like mine, is busy, distracted, and now… logical. UGH!

The trusting mind will listen to its Spirit. When the Spirit says to do something, you will do it without question.

The reasoning mind will hear its Spirit and question it right out of doing whatever God has directed you to do because it doesn’t make sense … even if, maybe, it does …

The Bible story I always use to remind myself of this “idea” is when God commanded Moses to lead His people out of captivity. God said do it and Moses said – Not Me. God said do it anyway and Moses said I won’t be good at it. God said take your brother and still Moses tried to back out of it. One of Moses’ problems was a reasoning mind. The other problem was the Devil giving information to the reasoning mind.

I also always try to remember the book Twelve Ordinary Men. Jesus chose His twelve disciples, not because they were great scholars, but because God’s strength would shine through their weaknesses. The man who thrice denied Jesus, would go on to establish Jesus’ church on Earth. Wow!

So, I’ve been hard at work trying to apply these concepts to myself. I am right for a job NOT because of my skill and talent, but because of my willingness to follow God’s call despite my weaknesses.

And here’s the part I missed: I like to know the “why”. I have to know the reason. I question everything and try to fill in the blanks. I question everything I see and everything that is done. I try to wrap my mind around it and fit myself into it. If I cannot get an answer, I go insane trying to figure it out on my own.

Do I have a reasoning mind? Ya’ think?

When we let our mind run around in circles we become confused and miserable and even frightened. And we cannot discern the Spirit.

It is not for us to know … Give up the reasoning and find peace. Trust in the One who knows and you no longer have to know.

This is going to be difficult … But oh am I ever gonna try. I HATE being confused and frightened and miserable!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5 (ESV)

Chapter 9 – A Wandering, Wondering Mind

First I learned that a busy mind is not normal. My mind should be at rest, but alert and receptive. Today, I discover that an inability to concentrate is a sure sign of the Devil’s attack.

A wandering mind is useless. My mind goes all over the place. I might set out to think about one thing and never once give it attention. Some days I determine to talk to God as I walk the dog, (sounds like the title of a book …), but I’m not even 2 houses away from my own and my mind has already found better things to stew over.

I have not trained my mind to concentrate. Oh, there are some activities that focus my mind, but all in all, my mind puts my hands on autopilot and enjoys its own reveries. There are days that I don’t remember driving to school. We just appear there. Talk about dangerous.

Reading is an activity that really demonstrates the problems of a wandering mind. We all have experienced the time when we finished a page and didn’t remember what we read. You might have read it several times and still had no comprehension. Reading comprehension is vital. There really is no other point to reading …

The title of this chapter wasn’t just written to be cute. A wondering mind is equally useless. How often do you “wonder” what time it is, “wonder” what you should fix for dinner, “wonder” what you should wear to work, “wonder” what others think about you? One of the meanings of the word “wonder” is “to doubt”.

Earlier, I read that a positive mind creates a positive life and a negative mind creates a negative life. How negative is a day filled with … I “doubt” the time, I “doubt” I have something to fix for dinner, I “doubt” I should wear this to work, I “doubt” others think very highly of me?

The Lord tells us to ask and we shall receive. The Lord tells us to believe with all our hearts, have faith in our beliefs, and we can move mountains.

I certainly cannot move mountains if I can so easily be puzzled over what time it is. If I am always asking such silly questions, how can I possibly have time to hold a firm belief in all that is important.

I will say that in the past week, I have noticed my mind is much more focused. It does not wander where it used to. Sometimes I attempt to make it wander and am amazed that it doesn’t do it willingly. There are just some places it is no longer willing to go. Hallelujah!

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
Mark 11:24 (ESV)

Chapter 8 – When is My Mind Normal?

A few years back when my husband left for his second tour of duty in Iraq, I described my life to a close friend as, “This is my new normal.” I meant that this is the way things are now and they seem sane to me even though they might seem strange to you. And the saying stuck.

Normal can/could change and I would adjust – multiple times. You might not want to experience what I am experiencing, but I have no choice. This is normal to me. And I cannot conceive of it differently. I don’t wish to dwell on what it could be. I just have to accept what it is.

After reading this chapter, I have to wonder if my mind has ever been normal.

A normal mind is not busy. It is at rest. It is not empty. It is alert and receptive, but it is at rest.

I often lament that my mind never stops. It is never right here. It is always a million miles away working on something. And it is so easily distracted. And I insist that it must multitask. The world tells us that we must be busy – in mind and body.

The normal mind is at rest and receptive to the spirit – The Holy Spirit. They work together. The Holy Spirit knows God’s mind and speaks it to us, but we must be at rest, alert and receptive to receive the revelation for God speaks in a still small voice.

If our mind is always busy and distracted and thinking and analyzing and judging and being suspicious, we cannot possibly hear the still small voice. No matter how much we wish to gain the Spirits revelation, He will have to pass us by because there is no room for Him in the chaos.

My mind is abnormal. God blessed me with a good mind, an intelligent mind, a creative mind, but I have filled it full of mess and clutter and I desperately need to clean house, one step at a time.

The author speaks about praying with the spirit and with the mind and how balance is best. Praying with the spirit is praying in an unknown tongue. Praying in the mind is praying in your own language. And there needs to be a connection in order to receive understanding. I cannot even conceive of this even though I often ask for the Holy Spirit to speak in my place for He knows best.

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.
Isaiah 26:3 (ESV)

Chapter 7 – Think About What You’re Thinking About

Here is a day when I think it would be easiest to quote all of the good stuff. There is such good stuff here.

You get out of the Word what you put into it. If you just read it, but don’t meditate upon it, you will get very little out of it. But if you learn it and live it and apply it, the power of the Word will be given to you. Knowledge will be revealed.

I love King David. I identify with King David. Perhaps because he is an artist? I’m not sure, but he wrote songs when he was depressed. Songs of praise. Prayers from the heart. Prayers asking for help. Instead of meditating on his depression, he pondered the wonderful works that God had done. He thought of something good and it helped him overcome his depression.

The blood of Jesus has saved me. There is nothing I can do to save myself. I accept Jesus as my Savior and will go to heaven. But I want to live victoriously on Earth. I have not. Because I continue to think wrong thoughts. I do not rely on the Father for my needs. I rely on myself and others to fill me. This is wrong thinking. I must always go to the Word and the Father when I am in need.

I have been in misery and misery loves company. No one wants to be miserable. But if you think miserable thoughts, you will most likely be miserable, and bring others along for the ride. I have believed that I am miserable due to what others have done or not done. I have not had a right attitude. My happiness is not dependent on the attentiveness of others. My unhappiness is not a result of the attentiveness of others.

My way of thinking has control over my happiness.

I can choose to be miserable.

I can choose to be cheerful.

I can choose to ignore the Word of the Lord when it doesn’t go along with my thinking.

I can choose to use the Word of God to set my paths straight.

And I can greet every question with the Word. What if this? What if that? What about the other? Be still and know that I am the Lord. Do not be anxious about anything.

And he said to them, “Pay attention to what you hear: with the measure you use, it will be measured to you, and still more will be added to you.
Mark 4:24 (ESV)

Chapter 6 – Mind-Binding Spirits

Now why hasn’t anyone brought this up before? I could have used this long ago. Teeny, tiny chapter full of something very very important. And possible relief.

Mind-Binding Spirits.

God told me to do something. I laughed because it seemed ludicrous. He told me to do it anyway.

At some point surrounding this conversation, a sermon or a Bible Study or a Bible reading had included the story of Moses. Moses said not me and I’m not made for this job and choose someone else. God said no – it is you that I want.

God likes to show His strength through our weakness.

And God’s voice was so strong, that after the laugh, I did it. And met rejection. I don’t know what His goal was, but it wasn’t the same as mine.

It didn’t matter – yes, I was hurt and confused, but I knew what I was told and I knew that it was going to work out in the end. Nope. I was wrong.

Now, after this happening a few times in a row … little did I realize  … the mind-binding spirits set in. I can no longer believe what I once believed. I used to believe that God could use me. That there was nothing I couldn’t do through Him. Just trust Him to use me where He wants me and hold on for the ride.

Now I believe I am no use to Him. I can do nothing. Nobody wants me. I’m the wrong person. I have nothing to offer. I was wrong. God doesn’t talk to me. It was something else. It was something evil. What am I that only evil uses me …

You get the idea. Mind-binding spirits paralyze you from God’s work.

Joyce Meyer had them too. God showed them to her and she prayed for their removal. She helped me. She told me what to pray. She had immediate relief. I wanted immediate relief. I felt my mind, my head expanding. It was very strange. I long to think that it was a mind-binding spirit leaving. I think I will continue to pray that prayer until I feel invincible again …

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6,7 (ESV)

Chapter 5 – Be Positive

This chapter is about having positive thoughts leads to positive lives and having negative thoughts leads to negative lives. In addition, if you expect good things to happen, good things tend to happen. If you expect bad things to happen, they certainly will. It is a part of the glass half empty and glass half full realm of thinking. Are you a pessimist or are you an optimist? When something bad happens to you or your day doesn’t go as expected, do you lament? Or do you look on the bright side and make lemonade?

When I train prevents me from continuing forward, I rejoice, put the car in park and whip out my book. I don’t care if I am there for 40 minutes. I am content. If I am in a doctor’s office and they are running 2 hours behind due to labor and delivery, I lean back, lean over and draw out a book. I am blissful. I finish my book ahead of time and didn’t grab another and I am fit to be tied. I am not prepared. I am on a rampage. I might do something stupid or act rudely … Ouch. Sometimes I get it. Sometimes I don’t.

I would go a step farther to say that people who can properly occupy themselves are also more positive. People who have too much time on their hands and do not know how to properly fill it can be miserable. Let’s take two steps beyond … You are occupied with laundry or running or something else physical, but your mind is left to wonder – to gravitate wherever it will. Without positive thoughts, you can make yourself miserable. It is better to keep your mind as occupied as your body.

I’ve been miserable. I don’t have enough to do. In such an instance, I wish I was a cleaning tornado. I just don’t operate that way. My mother-in-law can achieve in one hour what it would take me to accomplish in a day … When my husband was at officer school for 4 months … my weekends were lonely and long and foreboding and I hated them. On Saturday, I cleaned everything – top to bottom and the bathroom as well. I didn’t take a shower or get dressed until I was done, and then I would reward myself with a scrumptious dinner. I did this every weekend even though my husband, the one who would appreciate it, wasn’t there. It was more like punishment for me. But it was also busy work to keep me occupied.

I don’t do that anymore because there are so many other things I’d rather be doing. But they certainly don’t keep me as well occupied … Maybe the house is just too big. And there are three bathrooms … and two children …

It’s not just positive thinking I need, but positive work to go along with it …

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28 (ESV)