Chapter 18 – “Please make everything easy; I can’t take it if things are too hard!”

Wilderness Mentality #3

Definitely dealing with feelings concerning this subject. I have said it before and I will say it again. I consider myself retired. It’s a joke, but there is an ounce of truth if not a pint in there. I can go above and beyond when I feel like it OR I can ask for stuff to do and just go through the motions.

At the same time, I have a problem with NOT being in control. When you allow yourself to be the grudge worker, you are always being told what to do, when to do it and how to do it. It’s very easy to just follow directions and let someone else be responsible for it. However, it can drive one mad when you’re not getting to do the truly amazing stuff or can’t see a great idea take fruition.

I would call myself a dreamer and a grudge worker. I can shelve books like no one’s business. You want to see efficient and accurate working together? I can shelve 2 carts full of books, that’s 12 full shelves of books, in an hour. No kidding. Yeah, gotta see it to believe it. I was called the supershelver.

The truly cool thing is that I was dreaming the entire time. My mind was free to roam. Multitasker extraordinaire. I wrote books. In my mind. They just never got to paper because my hands and feet were too busy.

Well, I’ve reduced myself to a reading machine. I started blogging to give it more meaning. But the truth is, I wouldn’t do it if it didn’t aid me in doing my job well.

So why not stop? Why not leave the stuff behind that isn’t bringing me joy?

Cause this is easy for me. It’s not a challenge. My mind is well made for reams of knowledge, readily accessible. I don’t have to work at it. It’s not hard.

What would be hard? Leaving it for a new challenge. A new challenge without guarantee or a safety net. Something that people might not think I could do, but with God behind me, I could.

Hardest part for me is asking. God never said it would be easy. Have I just been doing easy? Heck yeah! And I’m having a hard time taking exhortations and affirmations from people for things that are no brainers for me. Praise me for taking on a challenge and succeeding. I might not be the best, but I would give 125%.

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
Galatians 6:9 (ESV)

I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13 (ESV)