Chapter 12 – An Anxious and Worried Mind

Heavenly Father, please help me to practice a rested mind. On my own, it runs busy without even realizing it.

Almighty Father, please help me to practice a rested mind. On my own, it is distracted at the drop of a hat.

Merciful Father, please help me to practice a rested mind. On my own, I choose to depend upon reasoning.

Beautiful Father, please help me to practice a rested mind. On my own, it is doubtful and doubled.

Loving Father, please help me to practice a rested mind. On my own, I continue to disbelieve and disobey.

Faithful Father, please help me to practice a rested mind. On my own, anxiety is triggered by most anything – a natural response.

Bountiful Father, please help me to practice a rested mind. On my own, I will not only worry about yesterday and tomorrow, but every moment in between.

Forgiving Father, please train me in a rested, alert and receptive mind. Show me how to listen to my Spirit and my heart. I long to be closer to normal. I want to be closer to You. Amen.

Chapter 12 is the reason that I have this book at this very time that God planned for my benefit. A dear friend of mine had just finished this chapter and said that I must read it as well for we are alike in this way. Of course, I would NEVER start in the middle and thank the Lord for my quirks, for I needed every chapter leading up to it.
I have been battling anxiety for most of my life. I dare say I stopped fighting it at all the last few years and simply gave in. Something goes wrong or I receive a foreboding sensation and all blood pressure is lost and I am panicky. Breathe, Alissa, breathe.

My alarm’s volume was set too low and I did not wake up at my normal time this morning, rather I awoke, to panic, an hour to an hour and half later than usual. I fought to glorify God that He knew I needed rest above all else and planned this day in advance for me. I fought to thank him for waking me up in time that I really didn’t need to rush, but just adjust how I spent my time. I spoke aloud of these battles to my girls so that they knew and I reinforced that God takes care of His children.

This day is already so many times over changed for how I intended to use it. And I fight to trust that God’s plans are much better than mine. He will bless it and I will benefit from it.

One of my gifts is time and a generous nature, but it is also flexibility. It is really not that hard for me to alter the way I spend a day to turn aside for others. It is hard for me to rejoice in that ability. I’d rather rage against the abuse and disrespect of others against my time.

A good friend of mine reminds me that worry is a sin against God. Worry is a sign of my lack of trust in Him. She is so right. I know this. I see this. And yet every email, message I send, I send with worry and anxiety for the response I will receive. And every response I open is approached with worry and anxiety for the answer I will see. I can no longer use the telephone without trepidation. My heartbeat quickens at the thought. How can I live like this? The answer is – I cannot.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made know to God.
Philippians 4:6 (ESV)

And which of you being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
Matthew 6:27 (ESV)