1. John writes about the stages a person faces when running a marathon:
a. Pleasure
b. Drudgery
c. Effortful labor
d. Temptation to quit – "hitting the wall"
e. Either endurance or quitting
If you look at your spiritual life as a race, describe what phase you are in and how it feels right now.
Temptation to quit – “hitting the wall”. There are moments of pleasure, but they are few and far in between. Mostly it is drudgery. On occasion I experience effortful labor. But before the words were put into my mouth by a book, I considered that I had hit a wall. Hit it hard. Knocked me to my knees in sobbing pain.
It always amazes me in Bible Studies -there are much older people who talk about having doubts in their faith. Not that they aren’t allowed. But it is the terminology that throws me. My faith is in Jesus. That does not change. He is the One and Only. It is through Him that I am saved. There is nothing that I can do to win Salvation for myself.
It is my spiritual life that falters. Not my faith. Faith is all I have. The wall that I have hit in my spiritual life is not about quitting Jesus or my faith in Him. I still have it. But it is the way that it moves me and works through me that is struggling – that has hit the wall. I don’t like it.
I cannot possibly keep up this pace. I want to quit. There are things I want to quit. I suppose I have already quit two things, but hadn’t considered it as such. I need to quit more. But I’m not really a quitter. I’d rather work myself to death.
2. Tell about a time when you "hit the wall" in some area of your life and kept pressing on.
I think I have hit a wall in my career. Okay, I don’t want a career. Society wants me to have a career. I really don’t care about a job that much. Especially a job that is dysfunctional. I don’t wake up every morning thinking that I am going to bring literacy to the world. UGH! Who wants that? I like to play Devil’s Advocate and say that books are no better than television. Empty diversions preventing you from doing real work.
When I say I’ve hit a wall in my career, I mean that I started off as a successful Library Director for a small Academic Library. My track record was excellent. I had to do it all and I did it well and more. But it was a sinking ship and I bailed before I had to do the same job and more in half the time.
My next job was as an Assistant Librarian for a large corporation. I just assumed that the Head would retire eventually and then it would be mine. Not that I wanted it. Who knew that they would decide they didn’t really need a library. They tried to make me into something I wasn’t and it for whatever reason, it didn’t work out.
And the only other job I could find was the one I currently have and it took me two years to get. Part-time, paraprofessional. But it was the best job I had ever had. All the fun and less of the stress. I considered myself retired because I had the cherry job for people who weren’t ready to stay at home all day.
And now I’ve it the wall. I’m way too young to retire. I have no control. I do what I’m told before I am told and I do it well. I’m not functioning as a professional. Oh, I use my skills earned with my Masters, but not for anything grand. Why bother? I can do it all and still be a part-time paraprofessional. Again, why bother?
What did you learn from this experience?
Sometimes you hunker down and protect your sensitive areas and wait for an opportunity to rise again. I just didn’t realize that that was what I was doing. I’ve been hunkered for so long, I’ve forgotten how to run with the flag. Or take the flag. Perhaps the battlefield is empty – long-abandoned and I’m still in the trench waiting for more … And my supplies are greatly diminished!
James 1:2-4
3. We face times of struggle and pain. What counsel does James give us that will help us make it through these times?
He assures us that God only tests His own and we should face the struggles with joy, knowing that we are growing in our faith and will receive its goal – eternity.
Tell about a time when you were able to experience joy even though you were going through a time of trial.
I don’t know if this is considered a trial of God … it was a trial nonetheless. My family was on the verge of losing everything and much was lost, but it pulled us together.
Not long before, I had been living self-sufficiently, not asking or taking help from anyone. It did not bother me. I was proud that I could survive on my own. I had control.
Then I could no longer live self-sufficiently. I required help and support. I was no longer in control. We couldn’t have survived without our family, friends and church family.
I have often said that 2007 should have been the worst year in my life, but it was more like the best. I was no longer alone. And I got back some of what I thought I had lost. It was joyful. And I miss those times. I felt like a part of something even when exclusion could or should have been the norm.
Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints,
and give thanks to his holy name.
For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.
Psalm 30:4-5 (ESV)
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