Finding a new vision

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”
Romans 8:14-15 (ESV)

I am almost working like a normal person again. Define normal. My normal.

I was helping in a class yesterday morning and one child, referring to another child at the table, declared that she was weird. She did it in an affectionate way so I played along. I asked, “Are you a lit ‘0’ bit weird or a lot ‘o’ bit weird?” She proudly proclaimed herself “a lot ‘o’ bit”. A compatriot! Later outside of class, the “weird” girl made a point of recognizing me. Self recognizes self. And we are one stronger!

Preparing for Vision:

Step 1 – Collecting information

What’s not working? I have WAY too much time on my hand. For the past few years, I have spread myself thin among many things that I would like to do and enjoy doing along with some things that I didn’t have the common sense to say no to.

While I knew what I WANTED to do, I opted to be asked and was dissatisfied with the results. In the end, I really had nothing to add that felt of worth. I spent a lot of busy time spinning my wheels.

The few times I went after what I wanted, there really wasn’t a well-thought out plan or focus. I was a people pleaser. God forbid, I was to put a bit of myself into the task. I remained dissatisfied and frustrated.

What do I really want? Where do I wish to focus my vision? The idea here is to join myself to God’s vision to find a vision for me. God wants people. How can He reach people through me?

I have to be serious about this. I am very uncomfortable thinking about those who are not reached. How can I reach anyone when I am primarily in places with people that already know God? And are every bit as hypocritical as me. If not only in my eyes, certainly in the eyes of the outsiders.

Who am I concerned about? Kids and parents on the same track as I am? We want something new and different and amazing. We’re bored with the same old. We want some danger and some adventure and we’re sick of the lies we were sold.

It’s dangerous. Very dangerous. To be raised in a legalistic climate without receiving a true relationship. When looks count more than the actual heart. And no one shows their true colors.

We all know there is something more. We all know there has to be something better. Some choose to leave what they know. Some choose to stay and sweat it out. I’ve stayed. Will I continue? What can I do to shake things up a bit?

I cannot even get “good” anymore. I want awe-inspiring. I’m tired of comedic and unprofessional. Sometimes you have to go up against the enemy – powerful warriors and battle them face to face to realize what you’re missing. Bravery and selflessness go hand in hand.

Could I use “art” to do this? What is my art? What is my heart? Where is God in relation to my heart?

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.
1 Corinthians 2:9

Forgive and Forget.

So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.
Romans 8:12-13 (ESV)

Translations. How many have we gone through and how many will there be? When I was in elementary school, we had the Good News Bible. I enjoyed the featureless faces of the illustrations. I remember the RSV and then I really learned to like the NIV and then I requested a special Bible as a gift and didn’t consider that it would be an ESV. Was there a choice? And I don’t care for it. I don’t like the language. I read a children’s version during Sunday School. The one that the lector read from in church on Sunday wasn’t the same as the one in the pew Bible. And sometimes in Bible Study, you just hope a certain someone doesn’t read because their translation is always different from everyone else’s. UGH!

Anyway, it was suggested I read Romans 8. I’ll just give in and complain. It’s so circular that it drives me nuts. Absolutely batty. If a person was speaking like this to me, I would turn the sound off. It’s like, “would you just get to the point already?”

I’ve got nothing.

I’m empty.

I’m going to tackle the last three together. And I suppose I could throw in a couple of others as well.

What it comes down to is abandonment. I felt abandoned. It pretty typical that children of divorce feel this way whether they can articulate it or not. How are you supposed to feel when the very people who are there to protect you, leave.

At some point you have to forgive them and accept that they are only human also. That they are hurting and simply trying to survive.

God has tried to show me time and time again that He is the One, the One and Only. I can depend upon Him and He will never leave me. He wants me to place my trust in Him. When everyone else fails, He is still there. Always.

And everyone else has failed. Failed. Sometimes the very people who should lead you to a closer relationship with God manage to drive a deep wedge in between instead.

There have been times when I have cried out and there have been times that I have lashed out. There have been times that I prayed and there have been times that I have been silent.

And I’m stuck. I’m not growing and it’s an uncomfortable place. Unfortunately, I keep turning elsewhere. To myself and my own intelligence. To my books. To my family or “friends”. To those that I’ve been raised to believe can lead me. But I need to go to God instead.

What I want to know is how does someone give themselves fully to Christ? How do you surrender? How does He become your one and only Love? How? I don’t get it? I don’t know what it looks like? I’m dying for someone to show me. And perhaps it simply looks different for different people.

I swear there is one person that looks and feels like the real thing. But it won’t look the same for me.

Yes, I’m angry and righteously so for the things that were done to me or happened to me that traumatized me. There are people who have suffered worse. It is sin. The sins of the father carried unto the future generations. The sins of centuries.

But they have been covered. Once for all. Time to move on.

“…go, and from now on sin no more.”
John 8:11b (ESV)

If I can be wrong, I can also be right.

You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.
Romans 8:9-11 (ESV)

I have been having some simply lovely days. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I have been less serious and more fun-loving. I haven’t concerned myself so much with stuff that doesn’t really pertain to me. Things that used to send me into a tail-spin – well, I’ve been released. And I’m praying more. Still not well, but definitely keeping my mind on track better.

So that now I am finally moving towards the top, think huge, part of my list, I don’t have as much to complain about anymore. It’s amazing how a person can not-get-on-your-nerves when you don’t see them for a while.

And again, I don’t think I necessarily have a grievance against this next person. I think this person has made their own bed and now must lie in it. They make multiple decisions and some are bound to be bad even when others are good. They are not always right, even if they think they are.

I also realize that people don’t stick around forever. Only a very few of us do. And when you step back and view the Big Picture, the roller coaster that we may seem to be in now won’t even appear as a blip in the grand scheme. I can wait it out. Things take care of themselves. And tomorrow is a brand new day. We have no idea what tomorrow holds.

Someone remarked on how I seem to know everyone. That isn’t true. I know a lot of people. Maybe I don’t know the important ones. Maybe I don’t have connections. And I probably don’t know the ones that you think are important. And heck, we might have common friends, but I know their casual nickname and you know their proper name. The world is huge. I can enjoy my piece of the pie without you interrupting me or vice versa.

Another person once said that the brash and noisy people are always heard over the meek eloquent ones. A confident well-spoken person can have you wrapped around their finger in no time. But they cannot have it every way. Sometimes they have to choose and hopefully they make their choice for the majority or for the core rather than for the bright and shiny impulses or for themselves.

I’m tired of being preached to. I’m tired of fluff. I’m tired of bright and shiny newness without any substance or conviction or staying power! And I love that I have choices.

I really cannot stand conundrums or people who say one thing to one person and an entirely different thing to another person regarding the same subject within one week.

I cannot trust a person who recognizes a need for change. Promises it and two years later there is still no change!

I think I have righteous anger on this count and this I am allowed.

For whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.
1 John 3:20 (ESV)

Why has it taken so long to discover this verse? I will work towards:

Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God.
1 John 3:21 (ESV)

Perfectionism - butting heads

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
Romans 8:5-8 (ESV)

I just love those black and white conundrums. Either or, but not both. You either are or you aren’t. Don’t we all have some sin that we struggle with daily? It might be a big one or it might be a small one in our opinion, but aren’t they all the same in God’s sight. NO sin can He tolerate in His presence. And it is all a sin of the flesh. And aren’t we all more concerned with ourselves than with one another?  Even those that we think should be better than that? And then aren’t we just supposed to worry about our own sin and not be critical of others. And here we are worrying about ourselves again instead of others? “If you’re not for us, then you’re against us.” If God is for us, who can be against us?

Are any of you like me and can argue any side? So you come off as undecided or wishy-washy? Or apologetic? Or weak?

“I know what you’re about. I know why you do what you do. I can even agree with what you are doing and even support it. On the other hand, in the position you are in, I think it is a bad idea. It provides a miscommunication. It can produce a lack of trust. It’s not good leadership. I like you and all, but find that we are stuck with you. If things were different… I cannot believe you could take this position knowing that you weren’t able to support one of its key components. Kind of like a janitor who refuses to clean the bathrooms. He/she shouldn’t have taken the job.”

Welcome to my mind…

My person of grievance today. I don’t even think I have a grievance against this person. They are not my favorite person. I do not dislike them. They are more than an acquaintance, but I wouldn’t call them a friend. I don’t work for them or with them. I suppose they work for me. Sometimes I like the job they do and sometimes I’m utterly disappointed. If I complain about something, they go into defensive mode. When I praise something it’s fine. They are in a position of authority and I probably allow them to be always right. That’s simply not possible. It is hard to be in a place where you are always wrong. And that’s not possible either. So perhaps I’m withholding out of self-preservation.

I used to go to this person when there was a problem and the situation always got turned back to me. As if the problem was in my court or was only from my own point of view. Even when there were others with my point of view. Often I was the only person willing to be vocal. I always felt like I was being psychologized and I abhor that. After all, I like to be right as well and the next person.

So I stopped talking.

I don’t think that is the answer.

I stopped initiating contact.

I don’t think that is the answer.

I don’t actually have to be in any kind of relationship with this person. I’ve disengaged. We all want to be pursued when we extract ourselves from the situation. We all want someone to care. Sometimes there are other more important things to deal with. How many other people are being hurt like myself simply because we don’t have a voice?

I cannot change how someone else thinks or goes about their business. But I can change the way I interact with people. Perhaps I’m upset with them because they remind me of myself… They always have to be right.

So I am going to focus on my own shortcomings. I am going to pray that “being right” isn’t what is most important to me. I am going to pray that I have the wisdom to keep silent and the discernment to know when I need to talk. And I will pray that I don’t disengage as a way to maintain control. I pray that I pray more.

For God so loved that world that He gave His one and only Son, so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
John 3:16

It’s as simple as that. No need to make it more difficult.

Foolishness

For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
Romans 8:3-4 (ESV)

Ever have a vision? Ever have a vision and want to share it? Ever have a vision and long to try it?

Ever discover that members of your team have a different vision or no vision?

How about having a purpose and a goal in mind only to find that the people in power have programs to plan – programs that don’t interest you? Programs that will suck the life out of you rather than fill you. Programs that will run you ragged for weeks and be over within an hour.

Before I go farther, I am NOT saying that I am right, nor am I saying that THEY are wrong. But we are different. And it is so lovely to work with like-minded people. It is also delightful to work as a complimentary team made up of different-minded people. It is infuriating to work with a clique – especially a well-oiled one. You simply cannot get in a word, let alone a thought.

Example… you go to a meeting and 2 hours is spent on the menu when there is more to the event than lunch. And you happen not to be blessed with the gift of hospitality.

Example… you are unhappy with the content of a program, but the other person is unhappy with the length when the length doesn’t affect that person at all.

Even worse is when most of the events are planned outside of the team. Why even bother with the team. There is the “official” team and then there is the “actual” team. And if you aren’t invited to be a part of the “actual” team, there is really little reason to be on the “official” team. Except that they can use you.

I must have woken up on the snarky side of the bed.

So, my grievance? I’m not really sure. I’m angry. I’m mad. And I’m hurt. I want out. And I got out. And now I’m trying to act like I haven’t been hurt. Like it doesn’t bother me. Sin of pride? I’m better than you? When in reality I’ve been made to feel like I’m not good enough?

I started working on this one a while ago. I started saying “no.” And I’m getting good at it. Which brings up another character flaw. I am not a quitter, and by saying “no” I don’t want to be viewed as a quitter. Under different circumstances, I wouldn’t have quit. Sometimes people just have to go separate ways when their goals are different. Maybe even their goals are the same, but their means are conflicting.

Does any of this make any sense? I’m not doing a very good job. Very ill indeed. I want to be a Godly woman, but I don’t want to be a flibbertyjibbet. Flibbertyjibbets look like scatterbrains whether they are or not. Please shoot me if I ever come off as a flibbertyjibbet.

I pray that I care less about what others think of me and more about what God thinks of me.

Some people just have WAY TOO much time on their hands. I’m one of them.

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,
but a wise man listens to advice.
The vexation of a fool is known at once,
but the prudent ignores an insult.
Proverbs 12:15-16 (ESV)

I am always the fool and sometimes I am wise, but it is only your wisdom through me. Grant me the wisdom to recognize the difference.

Same feelings, different people, different reasons

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.
Romans 8:1-2 (ESV)

Oh dear, my accountant is well aware that I have a difficult time of accepting undeserved grace.  I am very hard on myself for being a sinner. Not that is a preventative mindset. More of a “can’t help it so why bother” mindset. Ugh.

I was reading a friend’s blog and I noticed that she suffers from the same conundrum. We want to be in control. We want to earn. We want to choose. We want to accept the praise. (my words) When in reality, God loved us first. Jesus chose us. We cannot have faith except that the Spirit dwells within us. It’s not about us at all.

And hence, this comparison: Remember the time before last that I brought up my grievance of envy and jealousy against the newness of a person. There is more to this person. This person is living in the lifeboat and draws upon words and connections to prove she deserves to be in the boat. You probably know someone like this. And maybe it is me…

This person always has to be a step ahead of you. This person always has to have the next thing better than you. This person says your name in such a way that it belittles you. They might include you in a conversation, and everything that comes out of their mouth claims that they aren’t like you. Open mouth and insert foot. They would say, “I am not the kind of person who wears shoes,” and they would say it in such a way as to include you in the lifeboat even though you are clearly before them wearing shoes!

Here comes the comparison: Today’s person, well, my grievance against them is also envy and jealousy. BUT for an entirely different reason. Whereas the person before gets everything for their newness – and obviously, I wholeheartedly disagree for they are out to uplift themselves. (not saying I am acting or thinking or believing rightly. I’m a sinner. Never forget that.) My eighth person totally deserves every good blessing they receive from the Father.

And I am envious.

This person comes so very close to being in the water with Jesus so that others can be uplifted in the lifeboat. They are an excellent role-model in so many ways. And I wish I could be more like that. Actually, that’s what I wish I could be striving for. I just don’t think I’m ready for it. This person would embrace another’s newness rather than continue to rant about it. And they do it sincerely. I see no ulterior motives.

The former person is all about “me” and the latter is all about “you”. You can see it in the way they both live, act, speak. I don’t want to be like the first, although I probably am. I want to be like the second, and it will be a long road to get there.

I struggle every day to be glad that the latter person is on my side. To rejoice in their person and to be grateful to know them.

I pray that I can learn from their example and not be so grumbling.

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8 (ESV)

Fear

On their hands they will bear you up,
lest you strike your foot against a stone.
Psalm 91:12 (ESV)

I am like a lamb led to the slaughter. And sheep are SO stupid.

Anyway, halfway through and I better try an easy one today. Oh, there’s a good and appropriate one.

I’m sure you’ve all been in this (life)boat. You work hard. You learn and you earn. Everything seems to be going your way until ROADBLOCK. You don’t see it coming. Who does? And you have to start over.

But from that point, nothing seems to work in your favor. You haven’t changed. You’re still the same person with the same education, background, experience, but now it’s no longer enough. Or it’s no longer the right ones. You still work hard and do your best, but it no longer seems to matter.

You might have a lot of supporters and you still have the “love”, just not from the people in power or the people with connections. If anything, you’ve ended up on the wrong side of the fence somehow. And it doesn’t matter how good your intentions are or how great you are or how many people would love for you to go far, there is one person who always seems to stand in your way. And they’re simply not impressed.

At some point you just quit trying. You just give up. You just give in. And they win. Unfortunately, they don’t even realize it. If anything, you’ve just reinforced their opinion.

Today is about anger, fear, distrust and anxiety. I’ve been paralyzed by them. It’s not all that cut and dried. More has happened to me in the last almost 7 years than I’m really willing to acknowledge. I like to pretend that everything’s fine. Perhaps if I was more willing to accept that I’m a bit traumatized, I could work through it. Perhaps baby steps. I might need to try to grow, change, and expand in a safe environment. Anyone know of one?

I’ve realized that I’ve been acting like a child rather than a professional. You know, since being a professional didn’t help at all. And I’m discovering that those around me have much healthier relationships with the people they can and do choose to interact with. I’m playing it safe. I’m protecting myself. I’m letting them come to me. And that will lead to a dull existence.

So I pray that I can treat others with love and respect regardless of how I am treated. And try to be the first person to offer a word of encouragement. To get to know people like I try to know my books. People are more important anyway.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12:14-21 (ESV)

How could I possibly choose? It’s all good and pertinent!

The Great Plank

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
Matthew 7:1-5 (ESV)

I have run out of Bible Verse notecards from my accountant. I’ve requested more. Am I silly? I can ask God to direct me without an intermediary. I just did. I didn’t know if I’d be able to start writing today without a verse to launch off of. And then the word “plank” floated into my mind. Yep, I have a plank in my eye. Still, there is something powerful about someone else leading you by God’s instructions. When I get direct guidance, I always question it. Maybe not now, but certainly later.

On to my sixth person and my next grievance.

I have a friend, well, I wouldn’t even call them a friend. We’re “friends” when our work throws us together. And that is feast or famine. We are A LOT alike. We have similar interests. We like the same books. We are both, in my opinion, artists working in less than artistic environments.

We work in different “media”. Which is brilliant. Our work compliments each other’s. One supports the other. Because of this, I have often expressed a desire to work on a project together. I think amazing things could happen if we were given the opportunity.

But we are a lot alike. And do you know how when you see something in another person that you don’t like about yourself, well, it is magnified in them and you tend to hate it. And because you are so much alike, you tend to “know” what their next move is going to be because you know what you would do. And it’s not always pretty.

This person is a liar. A walking contradiction. They cannot be trusted.

When I am standing on the outside watching, I cannot believe the number of people who have been fooled. It makes me sick to my stomach. I want to warn them.

And it’s not fair. Because they have so much. So much that I have wanted and cannot obtain. I have decided it is because I’m not worthy. I’m not good enough. I’m too sinful. And yet, they have it. If only I were better. If only I were filled with the fruits of the Spirit. If only I loved.

Yes, we are a lot alike. I am a liar. I am a walking contradiction. I cannot be trusted. It is second nature to me. I don’t even realize that I am doing it. It is habit. I have been doing it for so, so long. There are some things that I do that I don’t even realize are wrong. I was never taught different… Rather it was never role-modeled properly. Of course, you cannot change something until you recognize it as wrong.

Why is it so easy to see that it is wrong when someone else does it? To you.

So my prayer regarding this person… Pray that I will only concentrate on myself and my own sins and let the Father take care of theirs. And perhaps pray that there are more famines and fewer feasts. I pray for discernment for when it is a good idea to work with them and when it is a bad idea. And keep the Father with us at all times.

There are those who will say that I’m not that bad. That I’m a good person. My response will be:

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.”
Matthew 5:21-22 (ESV)

Jealousy

For the Lord God is our light and protector. He gives us grace and glory. No good thing will the Lord withhold from those who do what is right.
Psalm 84:11

Forgive me. Forgive me please. I was on vacation and even though I took my laptop AND my notes, we had no Wi-Fi, and really no time anyway. And perhaps it was one of the best things I could have done – taken a break. That IS what vacation is about after all.

I promise you. I did pray. Quite a bit actually. In the car. I was born and raised in the prairie flatlands, and as much as I’d hate to admit a shortcoming, I simply do not do well in the hill country. Hairpin curves, large semis, lots of heavy breaks applied and rain to add an extra spin. It’s not that I don’t trust my father-in-law’s driving. I trust him implicitly. But even he admitted several times that he was praying hard every evening for safe travel.

Now I’m back and refreshed and in some ways a different person. It’s amazing what extracting yourself from a situation can do for your mental health. I didn’t miss a thing. Except my own bed.

The unfortunate thing though is that I look at my list and the old feelings are gone for the most part and feel like I can just move on without finishing. And I simply cannot do that. I must finish before I can move on. I know this to be true because I am having a hard time being thankful for myself only, while rejoicing in another’s pain. But, be aware, I AM aware and am working on it.

How do I explain…

Suppose there is someone that has a program planned and you don’t want that person to succeed. So you hope that the program fails. You happen to have connections and your inclination is to pull some favors. But you choose not to be so evil. Still, at the back of your head, you think you could still say something and let them draw their own conclusions; after all, they are of the same opinion. It really wouldn’t take much. Somehow you manage to be good and never let your ideas go further than thoughts. And then what you want to happen, HAPPENS! And your heart SINGS! Giddy with DELIGHT. Especially because you had nothing to do with its failure. In fact, you did your job and promoted it and even helped. It failed on its own without being sabotaged which happens to support your opinion in the first place!

I’m AWFUL! But I’m trying to be authentic. I’m a sinner.

Now to move on to the next two people on my list. No, no, I really need to deal with them separately.

All my life, I’ve rarely been the new person. You know, the new kid in class. It’s your eighth grade year, you’re on top of the world and you enter your classroom and there is the new kid and their newness is gold. Sometimes they take your position at the top of the class and sometimes they take your best friend. For some reason, they can do no wrong. You might have been asking for something for years to no avail. They show up and they get it! Along with the recognition and accolades. They are untouchable. Protected. The teacher goes out of his way to make them feel welcome and special. And it can take years for the newness to wear off.

Never having that kind of specialness… well, my instinct is to dislike them. Even if we could be best friends given the opportunity. Or not. In retrospect, that new person became my best friend in a couple of instances. For balance, a couple of those new people have been the bullies in my life.

Call what you will. I’ll name it Jealousy and Envy. This is my grievance against this person. But I recognize that it is not just this one person. This is one of my character flaws and I need to work on it.

So my prayer for today is to be thankful for my talents, skills, gifts and blessings and to be thankful for those that are blessed differently. It takes all of us to work for His Purposes. I pray that I can work with others better. I pray that I can learn that we all cannot be best friends, but we can all work for the common good. I pray for discernment – that I will know the ones that will work with me and not those that will work against me. And that I am not the one who is the enemy.

But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is there are many parts, yet one body.
1 Corinthians 12:18 (ESV)