The Great Plank

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
Matthew 7:1-5 (ESV)

I have run out of Bible Verse notecards from my accountant. I’ve requested more. Am I silly? I can ask God to direct me without an intermediary. I just did. I didn’t know if I’d be able to start writing today without a verse to launch off of. And then the word “plank” floated into my mind. Yep, I have a plank in my eye. Still, there is something powerful about someone else leading you by God’s instructions. When I get direct guidance, I always question it. Maybe not now, but certainly later.

On to my sixth person and my next grievance.

I have a friend, well, I wouldn’t even call them a friend. We’re “friends” when our work throws us together. And that is feast or famine. We are A LOT alike. We have similar interests. We like the same books. We are both, in my opinion, artists working in less than artistic environments.

We work in different “media”. Which is brilliant. Our work compliments each other’s. One supports the other. Because of this, I have often expressed a desire to work on a project together. I think amazing things could happen if we were given the opportunity.

But we are a lot alike. And do you know how when you see something in another person that you don’t like about yourself, well, it is magnified in them and you tend to hate it. And because you are so much alike, you tend to “know” what their next move is going to be because you know what you would do. And it’s not always pretty.

This person is a liar. A walking contradiction. They cannot be trusted.

When I am standing on the outside watching, I cannot believe the number of people who have been fooled. It makes me sick to my stomach. I want to warn them.

And it’s not fair. Because they have so much. So much that I have wanted and cannot obtain. I have decided it is because I’m not worthy. I’m not good enough. I’m too sinful. And yet, they have it. If only I were better. If only I were filled with the fruits of the Spirit. If only I loved.

Yes, we are a lot alike. I am a liar. I am a walking contradiction. I cannot be trusted. It is second nature to me. I don’t even realize that I am doing it. It is habit. I have been doing it for so, so long. There are some things that I do that I don’t even realize are wrong. I was never taught different… Rather it was never role-modeled properly. Of course, you cannot change something until you recognize it as wrong.

Why is it so easy to see that it is wrong when someone else does it? To you.

So my prayer regarding this person… Pray that I will only concentrate on myself and my own sins and let the Father take care of theirs. And perhaps pray that there are more famines and fewer feasts. I pray for discernment for when it is a good idea to work with them and when it is a bad idea. And keep the Father with us at all times.

There are those who will say that I’m not that bad. That I’m a good person. My response will be:

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.”
Matthew 5:21-22 (ESV)