Finding a new vision

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”
Romans 8:14-15 (ESV)

I am almost working like a normal person again. Define normal. My normal.

I was helping in a class yesterday morning and one child, referring to another child at the table, declared that she was weird. She did it in an affectionate way so I played along. I asked, “Are you a lit ‘0’ bit weird or a lot ‘o’ bit weird?” She proudly proclaimed herself “a lot ‘o’ bit”. A compatriot! Later outside of class, the “weird” girl made a point of recognizing me. Self recognizes self. And we are one stronger!

Preparing for Vision:

Step 1 – Collecting information

What’s not working? I have WAY too much time on my hand. For the past few years, I have spread myself thin among many things that I would like to do and enjoy doing along with some things that I didn’t have the common sense to say no to.

While I knew what I WANTED to do, I opted to be asked and was dissatisfied with the results. In the end, I really had nothing to add that felt of worth. I spent a lot of busy time spinning my wheels.

The few times I went after what I wanted, there really wasn’t a well-thought out plan or focus. I was a people pleaser. God forbid, I was to put a bit of myself into the task. I remained dissatisfied and frustrated.

What do I really want? Where do I wish to focus my vision? The idea here is to join myself to God’s vision to find a vision for me. God wants people. How can He reach people through me?

I have to be serious about this. I am very uncomfortable thinking about those who are not reached. How can I reach anyone when I am primarily in places with people that already know God? And are every bit as hypocritical as me. If not only in my eyes, certainly in the eyes of the outsiders.

Who am I concerned about? Kids and parents on the same track as I am? We want something new and different and amazing. We’re bored with the same old. We want some danger and some adventure and we’re sick of the lies we were sold.

It’s dangerous. Very dangerous. To be raised in a legalistic climate without receiving a true relationship. When looks count more than the actual heart. And no one shows their true colors.

We all know there is something more. We all know there has to be something better. Some choose to leave what they know. Some choose to stay and sweat it out. I’ve stayed. Will I continue? What can I do to shake things up a bit?

I cannot even get “good” anymore. I want awe-inspiring. I’m tired of comedic and unprofessional. Sometimes you have to go up against the enemy – powerful warriors and battle them face to face to realize what you’re missing. Bravery and selflessness go hand in hand.

Could I use “art” to do this? What is my art? What is my heart? Where is God in relation to my heart?

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.
1 Corinthians 2:9