Do I want a contrite heart?

1.      We all have our own mauve sofa story of when we had a chance to confess, but chickened out. Tell about a time you stood on the edge of confession, but just couldn't do it.

You know, I can sit here and sit here and sit here. I can think and think and think. I've come up with times when I was on the edge and finally did it. I can remember times where I did something and never felt the nudge to confess. I am having a really difficult time coming up with a time when I was on the edge of confessing and just couldn't do it … Not to say that I haven't. I've just shoved it so far down perhaps? Excuses.

I must be in denial. Even when I get an urge to confess, I'll admit that it is more in order to hurt someone who has hurt me than to receive forgiveness. I do not have a contrite heart. I have a brazen one. How have I come so far. I should know better.

What is it that makes confession so hard and painful for us?

It's hard to admit that we are not right. In today's society we want to be right. We always have to be right. We're struggling to maintain our status on the lifeboat. We are so stubborn that we are unwilling to admit that we cannot always be right. We hate to even receive criticism.

Isn't this better said: It's hard to admit that I am not right. In today's society, I want to be right. I always have to be right. I am struggling to maintain my status on the lifeboat. I am too stubborn to be willing to admit that I cannot always be right. I hate to even receive criticism.

2.     What are some of the euphemisms for sin that we use in an effort to keep from calling sin exactly what it is?

We say "everybody does it." When the majority do it, it is open acceptance that it is okay to do. We call it procrastination. We call it Type A personality. We claim we have ADHD. We side with forgetfulness and old-age. We say we are busy. We say we cannot help ourselves. We call it addiction. We claim lack of self-control. We blame the media instead of ourselves.

Why is it so important that we learn to identify sin in ourselves and call it sin?

You can't stop doing it if you're not aware that you are doing it. And if you do not call it for what it is it can become acceptable to be doing it. If you dislike someone to the point of wishing that person ill, you are committing murder. We must call it what it is or else it doesn't seem like such a bad thing. It doesn't matter that you are not best friends, you are still called to love that person. It is sin otherwise.

3.     "When we practice confession well, two things happen. The first is that we are liberated from guilt. The second is that we will be at least a little less likely to sin in the same way in the future than if we had not confessed. Sin will look and feel less attractive." How have you experienced the liberating power of confession?

This will be a really bizarre example at least to me. I grew up reading fortune cookies and horoscopes and predictions. They are everywhere. In the newspaper and after your dessert at your favorite Chinese buffet. We don't even think about it. You can have your daily horoscope delivered daily through email or even Facebook. People love to announce their good fortune as well.

I mentioned the other day that I had gone through Spiritual Healing and I had to confess that I had participated in these activities. I'd never considered them as sin until I was confronted with the need to confess them. Now that I have confessed them, I find that I don't feel a need to look for them or find them or read them when they are before me. Not that I haven't read them since when they are presented before me, but I do not go in search of them. I do not wait on them. They are no longer a part of my day.

How have you seen confession reduce your desire to continue in a sinful practice in your life?

I just don't think I have a really good grip on confession in my life. Which means I don't have a really good grip on sin in m y life. I realized that I was focusing my anger on my children and I hated myself for it. After the fact, I would get the nudge. The wake up call. That I would push my children away from me if I continued in my hostility. So I started asking for forgiveness from my children afterwards. I need to move towards not doing it at all …

Welcome to my toughest chapter yet.

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
   and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Psalm 51:10 (NIV)