Heart of Stone

1.     John says, "At the heart of it, confession involves taking appropriate responsibility for what we have done." What are the consequences of confessing but refusing to take responsibility for the impact of our sinful choices?

We can confess our sins every Sunday morning, but if we do not take responsibility for them, we never change. Without responsibility, confession is more of a sweeping the dust under the bed so you cannot see the dust bunnies. Taking responsibility involves holding the dust bunnies, taking them apart, acknowledging what they are made up of, and ridding our hearts of the dirt.

How can taking responsibility help us turn away from sin and walk in deeper places of holiness?

When we are aware of what makes us tick, we can actually move towards change. We can ask Christ to fill those voids that we’ve found. We can humble ourselves and ask Christ to take over. Until we take responsibility, we are not even acknowledging that we have done wrong. We have to accept our part of the problem and move to change it in favor of holiness.

2.    When we see sin through our own eyes, it is easy to excuse ourselves and justify our sin. When we see sin through the eyes of those we have sinned against and hurt, our perspective begins to change. When we see through the lens of God's vision and heart, we get a whole new perspective. Why is it essential for us to learn to see our sin through the eyes of those we have sinned against and through the eyes of God?

In most cases, I think it is impossible to continue to sin when you view the sin through the eyes of those you’re sinning against. It takes a really hardened heart of stone to not be moved by the emotions that others would feel. Especially if you try to put yourself in their footsteps.

And if we cannot be moved by those we have sinned against because we have a tendency to see them as our enemy (arms raised). Yes, we view them as hurting us rather than the other way around whether it is true or not. Then it is vital that we view our sin through God’s eyes because He has done no wrong against us real or perceived. And He is so much harder to hate, because He is so good to us even though we cannot ever claim to deserve it.

3.    How can God use tears, mourning, and brokenness over our sins as a tool for his will to be done in our lives?

It’s the great crying out again.  He hears our voice and He longs to answer us. He wants our attention and He wants to heal our hurts. Back when we discussed prayer, we admitted that we do everything in our power before we go to God in prayer. And these tears, mourning and brokenness are our final hour. It’s when we can continue in the same manner no longer, but we do not know how to change. We’ve tried everything to no avail. And God steps in.

John talks about the "gift of tears." Have you ever experienced this and how did this gift make you more the person God wants you to be?

This really doesn’t apply here to confession so much … but I did ask for the “gift of tears” and it was given to me. I used to cry at the drop of a hat over any little thing. Never the big ticket items. I think I refused to cry over the big stuff because I didn’t want anyone to know how much I hurt, however, I was bullied for crying over the little things. I hated tears.

When I was older, I needed to be medicated in order to free myself from unnecessary anxiety and the medication took the tears away. At first I was joyful. I was finally living the way I thought normal people did. But I no longer had any emotions for anything. I couldn’t cry when it was appropriate.

Then I met someone who cried at the drop of a hat, sincerely, over things that should break one’s heart sufficiently to produce tears. I was amazed. Then I met another person who could sincerely cry along with you and even for you.

And I asked God to restore my tears. Now I cry all the time again. And perhaps inappropriately. But I don’t mind so much. Maybe I should pay better attention to what makes me cry so that I can get a better idea on what needs fixing …

4.    Describe a time when you hurt someone through a sinful choice, humbly confessed, and saw God bring healing and restoration. How did this experience act as a catalyst for future obedience and willingness to confess when you recognized you sins?

I completely lost my temper in front of the girls once. (many times!) And I saw how it affected them. Scared them. Made them cry. And I recognized myself as a child in them. Their sad faces cast down. And it broke my heart. They only want me to be happy and they think it is their job to accomplish this mission. And I quickly as God for strength and peace and forgiveness, and then I asked them to forgive me and apologized profusely and loved on them and reassured them that it wasn’t their fault. That it was my fault that I lacked self-control. They perked right up and returned the love on me. They might even have empathized a bit with me.

Now, I do this much more often. Apologize to my kids. Over and over, but I think I experience that kind of rage less and less in front of them. Now to get rid of it completely!

Immediately the father of the child cried out and said,
“I believe; help my unbelief!”
Mark 9:24 (ESV)