1. What are some of the values and attitudes in our society that drive us to a hurried lifestyle?
We’re expected to do so many things. We’re supposed to get married and have a house and multiple cars and a recreational vehicle and vacations. We’re expected to have children and send them to fine schools and take them on dream vacations. We’re expected to put our kids in sports and dance and make sure they can play a musical instrument. Our jobs expect us to do more in less time with less pay and less budget. Our jobs expect to make a difference in the community outside of the office. And if we belong to a church we are expected to play a significant role there and volunteer and take on ministries and projects that otherwise wouldn’t get done. And of course we also must spend time with our family and have a hobby and take additional classes. We are expected to have it all and do it all. And if we aren’t off to somewhere important or talking to someone important on our cell phone, we must not be important.
What are some biblical truths we can hold on to that will counteract these values and attitudes?
Put God first. Others come next. We serve. The first shall become last. If you want to be first, you must be the last. Money is the root of all evil. Jesus was poor. It all can be taken away and eventually we will leave it all behind for eternity. Jesus yoke is light. People are more important than things – love one another.
What is it that is driving me to push so hard all the time?
I am afraid that it looks like a do so very little. I am afraid that if I don’t look busy, people will assume that I’m not. So many other people have full time jobs and second jobs and then take on more. I might not agree with any of that, but they certainly look important - like they are necessary. I’m scared that I’m not doing enough. And that someone else will hold a grudge that I have more time and should be able to lighten the burden by doing more.
What am I trying to accomplish?
Perhaps to have a place for me and my children. Yes, I said me first. I never felt like I belonged growing up. I was the black sheep or the outcast. No matter what I did, it was different in some way and therefore not cool. I don’t want that for my children. Perhaps it is too late. I can understand that all of the experiences I had, made me what I am today. That God wants me the way I am in order to serve the purpose. But surely my children do not need a repeat.
Who am I trying to impress?
I’m not sure. I don’t know that impress is the right word. I think I’m out to prove my worth. That I am worthy of time and attention. And it might be possible that I’m out to impress myself. Which would be impossible. I’m never content. Perfectionist. I can always find something wrong. I’m the hardest to please.
Does God really ask me to do all I am doing?
Of course not. I wish I could tell the difference between what He wants me to do and what I want to do with His stamp of approval on it. I’m supposing that it is not “things” and to-do lists that He wants me to tackle. He probably just wants me to do the very thing that I want so much. He wants me to show others that they are worthy of my time and attention.
1. Identify a time in your life when you really slowed down and enjoyed each experience that came your way.
Hahahahahaha.
Really.
Let’s see. I remember when I was about 10 or 11. We lived in this house with a nice sized back yard. We had 2 pine trees (there are those crazy pine trees again) with branches so low, you could live under them or hide under them. We had a lovely sweet gum tree that was ideal for climbing. I still had an aluminum swing set that was too small for me to really swing the way I like to swing, but was great for climbing all over like a monkey. Across the street, a quiet street where there was rarely any traffic, we had an enormous field with tall grass that you could get lost in. And I was allowed to ride my bike down that quiet street to the neighborhood market for “a loaf of bread, a gallon of milk, and a stick of butter.” I was in Heaven. My mom was busy with 1 or 2 babies and I could disappear for hours on end. That swing set was my gateway to the stars, the planets, Narnia.
Which reminds me, on my grandparent’s farm, there was a pasture lane. At the end of the lane was a pond. Along the way were any number of fruit bushes and trees that I was allowed to eat from. I could get lost forever on the farm. So many excellent hiding places. And a dog, Stormy, to keep an eye on you. Barns and tractors and a riding lawn mower. I miss that so. My girls would have loved it. They have no place like that.
What helped lead you to this time of slowing?
I was never led there. I think I might have been left there. The adults extricated themselves from me for more important tasks or talks. Like a children’s book. The parents must be killed off or waylaid or non-existent in order for the any action to take place.
2. How do you feel during the times you are not working or producing something?
Lost. Like I have no purpose.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
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