Chapter 6 – When You’re in Love

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

Revelation 4:20

Here I am sandwiched between Bible verses. ;) Variety. The spice of life.

I understand what being in love is like. I remember loving my mother. There was no one else more important in my world. It broke my heart when we were separated. I didn’t want to be anywhere else.

I remember falling in love, (whether you could call it that or not. It might have been falling in like,) with various boyfriends. Heart palpitations whenever we were around each other. The anticipation of the next meeting was always my favorite sensation. Going out of our way to be with each other must have been traumatic for our parents.

And then there was the time I finally, actually, fell in love like love at first sight. And everyone knew it before I did. My mom said she knew from the moment I said his name the first time. I was teased mercilessly when I suggested we were just friends. After all, it was all too good to be true. And love is dangerous. There is always the opportunity for feelings not to be returned – or for feelings not to be returned in the same intensity.

I hear about being in such a madly, deeply, intimately, loving relationship with Jesus. And I have to confess – I don’t get it. I am not so much concerned, but I want to get it!

I fully believe that the problem is my own distance. I’m scared to get too close. He is so demanding. And I am a people pleaser. I want to please Him. But I have a hard enough time pleasing those around me.

I am relatively certain I’m not going to discover this intimacy in a book. I will continue to be teased by others who have discovered it for themselves, or at least say they do! I have a problem trusting in the sincerity of others especially when it is sugar-coated.

So I am planning my next adventure after I finish these books. I’ve accumulated a few and I don’t want to be wasteful. But I am going to stop looking for Jesus in other people’s words and devote that time to my quiet time in seeking my bridegroom… Wow. I said it!

You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:13