The Heart of the Artist by Rory Noland

Introduction: Those “Artsy Types”

A friend of mine has recommended this book to me multiple times. The Director of Worship at her church is doing a small group Bible study using it. She mentions that their Director and I have a similar character or temperament. That we are artists and it is not unusual for us to be in our own world and operate differently.

I am having the hardest time thinking of myself as an artist. This is most likely because I am an amateur and not a professional. But having read the first chapter, it is very hard to deny that I am an artist.

My artistic leanings have never been cultivated. I’ve always drawn, colored, painted, created, but I’ve never taken a formal class. I’ve always sung, dance, performed, but never beyond school or church choirs. I’ve always written, but not on paper, only in my head. I’ve always loved music, melodies, harmonies, sounds, but never had an instrument outside of my voice. I feel like I’ve been traveling through life without my most important limbs. How can I function?

Growing up in a family that was always proud of our heritage – that being German with a strong work ethic – one isn’t exactly encouraged to follow an artistic path. One can certainly have tons of hobbies on the side, but you cannot make a living in the arts. At least not a good one.

But my maternal grandfather made a living doing something he loved that made use of his artistic talents. He was a jeweler. He made some beautiful pieces. And he could engrave gold freehand. My maternal grandmother played the piano and sang. She taught herself to play the organ at the request of her church and was the church’s organist for more than half of her life.

I keep thinking, how did I get missed? Oh, in my current profession as a children’s librarian, I have plenty of opportunity to be creative. Don’t get me wrong. I regularly sing story times, create displays and “perform” for the kids’ pleasure. I am finding more opportunities and outlets for myself …

But I’m having an identity crisis. I’ve been raised to be proud of my intelligence and to use it. I’m not saying that I cannot have both and use both together successfully. But I’m having a difficult time being recognized for something that I was never led to embrace, while I am not being recognized for the thing that I have always been led to believe was my strength.

And for someone, or several someones to say that I am a gifted writer and/or speaker, well, that just isn’t in my realm of believability. I don’t know which one is me … And in the past, I always felt very blessed in abilities and gifts, but for the past year, I’ve kind of felt like a failure. And if I’m not allowed to do everything, then how do I pick? And what if someone else picks and I’m not thrilled …

Wow.

This is a group book … a team group … and I’m doing it alone …

The first artists …

His brother’s name was Jubal;
he was the father of all those who play the lyre and pipe.

Genesis 4:21 (ESV)