Joy for tomorrow - Chapter 5!!

1.     If you asked the members of your small group to describe your joy-quotient, what do you think they would say about you in terms of joy or non-joy?

If I were to ask those closest to me to describe my joy-quotient, I am relatively certain that they would say that I have not been myself for maybe the past year. They might go so far as to say 18 months. I might be wrong, but that’s when things started getting stupid and I got overwhelmed.

Prior to that time, I think friends would say I was a happy, perky person. I don’t know where joy comes into that equation. Afterwards, I think I would be called depressed which is obviously the absence of joy.

I better start asking.

2.    “Joylessness may be the sin most readily tolerated by the church.” Why do you think the church is so quick to accept and even encourage joylessness?

I think there are multiple reasons. First we are sinners and we must be penitent. We must meditate and confess our short-comings and we must be reminded weekly of where we have fallen short and helps to drum in the consequences of a sinful heart regularly. You remember the negatives longer and in greater detail than the positives. Usually the positive, God’s grace and forgiveness, are the punch line.

Second, we are coming out of a generation who had nothing. Depression-era mentality leads to a certain frugality in emotions and stoicism. You cannot be too happy. We must reserve our joy for weddings and special occasions.

Third, the following generation rebelled against the frugality of the prior and swept up the slogan “it’s all about me.” We are joyful about us and our own successes and accomplishments. But when we attend church, that joy is taken away because it is wrong to focus so much on ourselves.

This leads to the children of these families who have everything, but remain discontent because while they have STUFF, they do not have relationships. They are alone in a void of instant gratification and it takes more and more STUFF to reach the joyful high. And of course church has faded to the background because it can no longer entertain them.

Finally, we are a nation of complainers. Nothing is good enough. Nothing is received fast enough.  No one has time for us. We like to sit around and whine about what we don’t have or what we would like to have and certainly what others have even though they don’t deserve it. And church is a great meeting place to commiserate.

3.    What are some of the natural and joy-filled moments that occur in your week that you need to begin noticing and celebrating?

When my favorite song plays when I need it. When we play our song in bells well. When I am able to play a song finally after lots of practice. When I’m in story time and the kids are participating and enjoying the books I’ve chosen. When I get an unexpected email or message. When I get to spend unexpected time with my friends. When I first go outside to run and I look up at the clear, star-filled sky. When someone leaves me a thoughtful note or gift – it could be chocolate or their library book.  When I hear of someone appreciating something I’ve done. When the zimbalstern plays. When I get to mark one of my tasks off my list. When I get to enjoy a special drink with a special meal. When someone plays with my hair.

4.    “Often it is the people closest to suffering who have the most powerful joy.” Tell about a person who has modeled this truth and what you have learned from his or her life.

I have a friend who believes that he is losing everything. And I will not say he is exactly joyful, but he is hopeful. He believes that God is at work through this difficult time. He will lose material things, but he will gain things that are much more important. He is accepting of what is to come. He has a plan even though it is yet incomplete, but he has a hope for a better future. It is hard to leave security for suffering. But trusting in God and taking the leap will lead to a certain satisfaction that could not have been found where he was. His soul was slowly dying, but now he will live.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.

Philippians 4:4 (ESV)

Avoid the joyless. Avoid me?

1.     There are people who have a unique ability to destroy joy. How have people like this impacted your life?

Not only can they destroy joy, but they have an ability to take it away without you even knowing it. What’s worse is that sometimes you do not even realize what happened. You can get used to it. And then you forget how to be joyful.

These people make life a chore. You no longer even enjoy the things that used to uplift you because they point out all of the negative aspects. Sometimes you start to offer them the negative points on your own and never even share the positives anymore. They only want to hear the bad.

I wanted to share my joy-filled heart in a positive way. I think I was hoping to give others the opportunity to experience a little joy or happiness or relief from something that wasn’t rewarding for them. In one case, I was taken up on it, but was given so many strictures, that it became a chore for me as well. In another case, I wasn’t allowed and it showed me in a clear way how sometimes you have to take others up on the offer of help. Otherwise you’re denying them the opportunity to serve others.

Now I’m discovering that I have to be the instigator. I have to be in charge of my own ministry as it were. It doesn’t have to fit into someone else’s program.

What can we do to keep these people from robbing us of joy?

We can avoid them. Seriously. When we are at our most vulnerable and not up to working with them, we can choose to avoid them. It would be in our best interest.

When we are forced to interact with them, we can offer only positives and choose to ignore the negatives. We can choose not to play their game.

When we are particularly filled with happiness we can be aggressive with their complaints and try to be “joy tidal waves”. They can choose to sink or swim!

2.    Impatience kills both joy and time. How have you seen impatience kill time in your life?

I know for a fact that this is an issue in my life. I think I always live event to event. I look forward to some and dread the others, but I live for them. Either for the joy of one or for the passing of the other.

When I finally get the car packed and the girls seat-belted in the morning, I breathe a sigh of relief when I finally pull out of the driveway. I live for that moment when everything is where it has to be by 8am. I’m missing out on little moments of joy with my girls in the impatience of checking off my list.

I worry about something I have to do and dread it and agonize over it when there is really very little I can do about it other than choose not to do it. What a waste of my time leading up to the time when I can finally put it behind me. Ugh! But then sometimes I agonize over everything that went wrong or I wasn’t happy with or wondering if I could have done something different.

Or I live for something GREAT! But it never lives up to my expectations and anticipations because I SO longed for it and built it up to be something that it could never be. Then I’ve taken the joy right out of it all by myself. Or while I’m enjoying it, I’m worrying about it ending! It’s like they say: if you’re wondering if you’re spontaneous, then you’re not. I’m looking at what I’ve written and realize that I’m probably a joy-destroyer and not even close to a carrier. UGH!

3.    Read the quote from G. K. Chesterton. How does Chesterton’s vision of a youthful and joy-filled God affirm or clash with your vision of God?

In my mind, God is the Father, and probably, more the Grandfather. He is old and knows everything. Nothing would be a surprise. He is the grownup and I am the child. I’m not a joyful child. I am a rebellious child and He is not happy. So my fun is to be taken away … I tiptoe on eggshells around Him. I’m scared to be brave lest I get a stern glance, a reprimand or worse, He’s disappointed in my efforts or lack of. Kids are meant to be seen and no heard. They get in the way and are distracting.

a.     A joyless, angry and harsh God

b.    A stoic and unconcerned God

c.     A joy-filled and embracing God

What kind of a picture of God were you given as a child growing up in your home or church?

A stoic and unconcerned God. Jesus was always the human, loving person, although I wouldn’t even say “friend.”

What kind of a picture of God do you have today?

A stoic and unconcerned God. I’d say that it hasn’t changed much at all. He’s as distant as ever. He doesn’t have time for me. He has bigger fish to fry. I might like to talk the talk, but it would be a lie. I’m as afraid to approach Him as I am to approach anyone.

I think perhaps a lot of it has to do with the adults around me growing up. Send the kids away to have fun while the grownups have a break.

And it’s not much different for my kids. Do we ever take a break to have fun with them? Without us complaining about it being a chore. Is all life work?

Come to me,
all who labor and are heavy laden,
and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28 (ESV)

I will dance

1.     Some people have a contagious joy that makes them “joy-carriers.” What characteristics mark the lives of these people?

According to the book, joy-filled people tend to be marked by suffering. One of my favorite children’s books, The Giver by Lois Lowry, has taught me to believe this. One of the themes of this book is that the absence of pain begets the absence of joy. In order to make a Utopian society, all forms of suffering have been eliminated, and in so doing, the populace has lost the ability to see color and feel emotion. Without color, I would shrivel up and die.

Another mark of a joy-carrier is that they tend to put others first. Now, it’s not that I don’t believe this or don’t agree with this, but I have a harder time wrapping my mind around it. However, another story: The Library dismantled the bookmobile and the extension office. For the past couple of months my department has been weeding extension’s children’s collection. It is a kind of suffering for librarians to get rid of books. (OK, happy dance to destroy all things TV driven.) Recently, we received permission to give the extra books that we have no room for, but would long to keep anyway, to the public school system making them available to our patrons through a different outlet. It is so much more fun to give those books away to a worthy cause! It’s more like Christmas than a funeral now!!

What are some practical steps you can take to develop these characteristics in your life?

How can I develop suffering? Really? Hmmmm. I could fast. I could work on silence and solitude. I could choose to forgo a new computer. I could choose to wear only 6 articles of clothing out of my closet for the next 30 days.

Putting others first, well, isn’t that what I hope to achieve by living a life where I put Jesus first by personal surrender to Him?

Aside from these things, the last couple of days have been much nicer than the last several months. I have smiled, even when it was forced and the obvious effort turned into laughter. Who would have thought? I have dared to be me and follow my own intuition rather than putting some strict rules upon myself concerning how to behave. I hadn’t realized how far I had gone in censoring myself. And I have dressed up in a way that put a bounce in my step. So I really believe, cutting myself off from my wardrobe would indeed lead to suffering!

2.    What are some of the unchangeable and eternal joy-gifts God has given you that no one can ever take away?

Frightening question anyone? Joy-gifts that can NEVER be taken away? Eternal and unchangeable? Trick question? Jesus Christ. Am I too literal? God’s Love. Our Salvation. The gift of the Holy Spirit.

The gifts that God has given me are mine to have and to use. Unfortunately I take them for granted or I don’t acknowledge them as something unique to myself and therefore make me special. But I wouldn’t call these unchangeable. They can grow or shrink according to how I choose to deal with them.

How can these be a regular source of joy … even when times are tough?

“The New Testament writers were engaged not so much in some form of positive thinking as in what might be called ‘eschatological thinking.’ That is, they viewed all events in light of the Resurrection and the ultimate triumph of the risen Christ.”

I read somewhere about how we can make a bit of Heaven here on Earth when we are a Christ follower and work towards His purposes in the right here and right now. We can choose to deny our happiness until we finally meet our Bridegroom OR we can live each day in preparation of our Wedding Feast.

And really, Anticipation is glorious! Not that it won’t be entirely different when God finally joins us at the Feast, but sometimes the anticipation is more exciting that the actual event we’re waiting for. If we could live in that anticipation. Wow! Pay more attention to the details. How we will be dressed. Who we wish to attend …

Set aside a whole day as your personal Dee Dah Day. What would you do? (Dare to dream a little.)  

One day? Just one? I’d like to go somewhere out of town. Eat a couple of meals out. Different. Special. Not a chain. Unique and unusual. Try something I’ve never had before. Go to a concert. And go with people who will be just as excited as myself. And dance indefinitely. And sing out loud. Sing my favorite songs. Be leisurely. No rush. Time to window shop. Not have to pay attention to anything, but what’s of interest.

What would keep you from doing this?

Money, timing, concerts, kids, people with the same love. Finding someone else to throw their cares away with.

Ignite Chicago 2 years ago was as close as I got.

I think I need a sabbatical away with God. I’d LOVE to go to a Storyline Conference in Portland with Don Miller. Not that I belonged there, but I’d love to meet some new people that have found something special as a closet Evangelical …

 “Here is a key for spiritual vitality: We must arrange life so that sin no longer looks good to us.” What might you rearrange in the coming week to make one specific area of temptation look less enticing?

I need to schedule time to play and to write and to sing. I’m not sure how. But I need to block off time and hold myself accountable to it. Nothing else gets in the way unless I turn aside for God … But this could very well be the turning aside …

I was at chapel this morning for the K-3^rd graders. And I just remember thinking: I would like to try that. Have some fun. It was so sedate. The kids were … bored. Distracted. I wanted to see some life. I think that’s what I’m looking for. Some life in the audience. ‘Cause you know we’re not DEAD. We’re just not MOVED. I wish to be moved. That would give me joy. I want to wake us up. The Great Sleeping Giant!

All these things that I want to do. But it’s not part of my job. Why can’t I do them? If all of us divided tasks according to what we’d like to do and what would drain the life out of us, maybe we could all be happier. There is so much I’d love to do given the opportunity. I’d set other things aside. And have no time for sin.

And David danced before the Lord with all his might.

2 Samuel 6:14a (ESV)

This weather brings me joy!

Nehemiah 8:9-12

1.     What is one place in God’s creation that gives you a profound sense that God is a joyful God and the happiest of all beings in the universe?

Having never thought of it before, the first thing that comes to mind is – DOGS. And now I look on to the second part of the question and realize that the question is WHERE and not WHAT. I sit here trying to think of a place that when I am there I am filled with joy. A place perhaps that I go back to. I got nothing. How awful.

But I’m listening to the wild wind outside and the occasional thunder and am reminded that I LOVE thunderstorms and extreme weather. From a young age, when everyone else was taking cover, my dad was taking me out on the front porch. Yes, I’m having a hard time figuring out how dangerous weather could reveal a joyful God, but it DOES give ME joy …

On further reflection, the weather is reminiscent of a toddler wreaking havoc upon his room … There is an element of joyful abandon and utter disregard for others reactions. The toddler is in the moment doing what pleases him most. And wouldn’t I be happy to have lightning bolts at my fingertips?

When you are in this place, how is his joy passed on to you?

His joy is passed on to me through the wind in my hair, buffeting me about. His joy is passed on through the big sloppy raindrops or buckets sloshed upon me. His joy is passed on through the puddles we can jump in or kick through. His joy is passed on through the rushing flood waters headed to the gutter. His joy is passed on through the sprays of water my tires aim at the helpless walkers. His joy is passed on to me through the profound colors displayed in the sky that point towards something big on the move. Hi joy is passed on to be through the booming thunder and the brilliant light show. God really knows how to display His might.

How does living in the joy of the Lord bring strength to you?

It is evidence of the strength that holds me up, that is behind me, under me, through me, around me. It is evidence of His love for me that He would fill me with awe of His nature. It is His lullaby to me to remind me that I need rest and that He cares enough to demand it of this wayward child.

2.    Describe a time when life circumstances brought you unexpected joy.

Let’s say I knew OF a person most of my life. Let’s say from at least high school on. But I never KNEW that person. The more I witnessed this person as an adult, the more I admired this person. And the more I felt “not good enough” to be around this person. The more I saw of this person with their family, the more I loved their “goodness”.

Then we were unexpectedly thrown together in a way that demanded that we understood each other quickly. Sink or swim. Without this person, it would have been sink and sink fast with an enormous rock. With this person, it was more like soaring than swimming.

What I discovered was that we were very much alike and at the same time we were very different, but uniquely created. And we were a complement. I am more amazed by this person today than I ever was before and I know some of their faults and weaknesses, but this person’s strengths far surpass what I had anticipated.

And this person brings me such joy. I am amazed in the creation that God has placed before me. It was like He gave me a window into how He achieves His purposes.

What are some practical things we can do to seek joy on a more regular basis?

We can choose to spend time with the people who add to our joy rather than detract from it. When we get the opportunity, we should turn aside and grab it.

We can go to the places that bring us joy especially when our joy has been drained.

We should choose to do things that bring us joy every day. We should balance the stressful tasks of the day with some joyful ones. They shouldn’t be left for at the end of the day IF there is time left. Time must be set aside for them.

We should start each day in joy and put our best foot forward. When our joy is snatched away, we should take the time, in the moment, to find it and put it back on.

3.    Read the quote from Dallas Willard on page 66. Willard is making two points. First, when we are joy-filled, we are less likely to be drawn into temptation. Second, when we are joy-deprived, we are more likely to fall into temptation. How have you experienced these two principles in your life?

This was one of those a-ha moments. I was bowled over for sure. It’s smack-dab, right-on and I’d never considered it in this way before.

Back to a previous analogy: shopping.

When I’m happy and have a lot going on and I feel vital and necessary in some way. Like I could disappear and someone would actually notice in time to save me … I’m so full of joy that I don’t even realize I’m being driven by such things. And I’m content.

When I’m depressed and not feeling very useful to anyone, but maybe more particularly – used. And I’m relatively certain no one would notice that I was gone until they needed something. Well then I’m in a state of discontent and it doesn’t always work, but sometimes it helps to shop.

As long as I’m happily busy, or is that busily happy? I am not tempted to spend money on myself in order to feel better. As soon as I’m not feeling my usual happy self, I must need something to perk me up.

If my time won’t be used for the good of others, then I’ll use it for the good of me. And there’s the rub. Why can’t I use my own time for the good of others … Where did I get my faulty thinking?

For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh
but have divine power to destroy strongholds.

2 Corinthians 10:6 (ESV)

Moments of Dee Dah

1.     If you were having a Dee Dah Day, how would people know it?

I’d be very talkative. I would be so bouncy, one could hardly pin me down – practically dancing really. I would sprint from place to place. I wouldn’t be able to sit still. I’d be animated. I would probably do unexpected things. And if there was a story behind the Dee Dah, I’d probably tell it to EVERYONE.

What would be the outward signs that give you away?

The genuine, uncontrollable smile from ear to ear. People ask about that smile. They want to know what is behind such a smile. I think it borders on maniacal. Cheshire Cat grin. And mischievous. Cat who ate the canary.

Tell about your last Dee Dah Day moment. What brought you joy and caused you to really celebrate life?

I think the closest I’ve come recently was when my digital piano came in the mail. It was the hardest thing for me to spend the money even though I got an exceptional deal. And once it finally arrived, I was able to let go of the expense that could have been spent elsewhere, and I could just delight in everything good.

Up until that point, I was using a ridiculous little thing from the 80s that was inferior in every way except that it could produce the notes. I was sneaking 15 minutes here, 30 minutes there, 45 minutes over there and an hour back this way at various pianos around town. I felt like an addict getting a fix.

And getting my own instrument in my own house was like coming out of the closet. I could play as loud as I wished and as long as I wished whenever it suited and not feel guilty or like a criminal. I could not stop playing. I was drawn to it.

2.    What are some of the ways we tend to squelch the spirit and enthusiasm of those around us who seem to have more than their fair share of Dee Dah Day moments?

My number one act against another’s Dee Dah Day is to refuse to listen. I refuse to inquire. I don’t want to hear it. I turn away. I turn off. I’m uninterested. On rare occasions, I’ve even warned someone that I don’t want to hear it or see it. I might even explain my plight or complaint against it turning their celebration into my own pity party. I’m evil.

My number two act against a Dee Dah Day is to point out problems with or obstacles to the event behind the Dee Dah Day. Why would you want to do that? Are you sure it is in your best interest? You should consider something else first. You cannot do that! And the best part on my side is that most everything I say is true and valid to an extent. That’s my justification. But my delivery is lacking, cruel or untimely. I’m awful.

3.    Who is one person in your life who models the Dee Dah Day spirit?

I don’t know. I don’t have Dee Dah Day kids. Probably my fault. Most everyone acts like responsible, straight-faced grown-ups.

There is one person I know, (and the author will point out that the most joyful people are those amidst suffering,) who has been through so very much in the recent past that remains amazingly upbeat at all times.

What have you learned about joy by watching this person? (Remember, this person can be any age.)

This person always puts others first. Both family and friends. No matter how much this person has going on, this person always remembers me and the little things that brighten my day. This person brings me joy when I least expect it.

A joyful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (ESV)

A Dee Dah Day

So I said that I would train in the spiritual discipline of prayer. Strike that. Not that it shouldn’t be addressed, but I think I have something more important to correct first.

Chapter 4 is about the spiritual discipline of JOY. And I have realized in the past few months that my JOY is gone. I didn’t even really realize when it left me. I couldn’t really pinpoint why it left me. But I know without a doubt that I’ve lost it and I don’t know where to find it.

In this chapter, the author talks about people who are joy-carriers. Some people are just naturally joyful people. I am NOT saying I was ever one of those people. But there was a time when perhaps I was known as being a happy person, someone who always wore a smile, someone you could count upon to be in a good mood. And now – I’M NOT.

Someone did steal my smile. Someone questioned my smile. So I started to question my smile. And I stopped trusting my own smile. I was led to believe that I couldn’t always be happy. So I think I bought into an idea that I wasn’t happy – that I was a fraud.

And you know what? Sometimes the simple act of smiling makes you feel better. It turns on the happy hormones. It fills your brain with the good juice. And pretty soon, you are smiling not because you’re faking it, but because you truly are happier than when you weren’t smiling.

Another trick is dressing to make you feel better. Put on a bright color. Dress up. Wear your favorite outfit. Defer from the black.

Yet another trick is standing up straight and tall and proud. Holding yourself as if you are important and you don’t mind standing out. Um, that would be displaying confidence. Walk as though you have a purpose. Act as though what you’re doing is important. Give a firm handshake. Make eye contact.

There’s a part of me right now shrinking from all of that because it sounds like “ME, ME, ME, ME.” And we’ve heard the sermon “It’s not about me” often enough. But there is a continuum from “I am a wretched, poor sinner undeserving of any good thing.” and “I am a creature designed by God and purchased and won by the blood of my Lord and Savior.” We are not worthy in and of ourselves, but Christ has made us worthy and we deny Him when we do not celebrate His creation and His sacrifice of which we are included.

The author points out that God commanded feasts to be celebrated in Old Testament times. Do I ever feast?

He also points out that God is most joyful of all. God is the be all end all of JOY. Not that he doesn’t know sorrow. He knows sorrow far above ours for He knows ours as well as all others in addition to His own.

If I am made in His image, it is my duty to be JOYFUL! I do NOT have to be ashamed of my JOY either. Aren’t we supposed to be JOYFUL ALWAYS?

And so I have decided to get my JOY back. I will train for JOY. I will celebrate. The first step is to smile again. I’m tired of revealing my wounds through my eyes. I want to smile again. I want to be known for my smile and not the haunted look in my eyes.

What will I need to bring the JOY back? I need a recipe:

1.                  I need to paint

2.                 I need to create

3.                 I need to listen to music

4.                 I need to sing at the top of my lungs to what I want to sing

5.                 I need to play music that I enjoy

6.                 I need to play period

7.                 I need to find a pile of leaves and jump in it

8.                 and lie in them – leaf angel?

9.                 I need to enjoy my food

10.             I need to enjoy sleep

11.               I need to allow myself to spend time with my friends

12.             I need to allow myself time to do what I love most

13.              I need to carve some pumpkins

14.             I need to laugh

15.              I need to look forward to regular things

16.             I need to slow down

17.              I need to smile regardless of the return

18.             I need a thunderstorm to get caught in

19.             I need to enjoy what I enjoy even if others think I’m mad.

20.            I need to stop acting like what I think others want me to be.

Be joyful always

1 Thessalonians 5:16 (NIV)

Stuck, but pushing forward

1.      What are some of the possible implications for a person who decides to only try hard but never train?

Failure – which never feels good even if you gain experience through it. But people who train can also enjoy failure.

Embarrassment – for not being able to put your best foot forward.

Humiliation – for not being able to deliver what you promised.

No growth – from skipping the important part of training.

No learning – from all the possible tangents that training could lead you to.

Lose support – from those who back you or depend upon you when you repeatedly let them down.

False sense of accomplishment – if you do succeed, it won't necessarily be for the right reasons and you could mistakenly decide to put you on a pedestal with no foundation.

Insecurity – you could know yourself for a fraud. No confidence in what you do. Begins to feel like dumb luck.

2.     If we make personal spiritual advancement a legalistic program, how can this lead to guilt and sadness rather than joy?

In the book, the author describes a time when he chose to follow a devotional. He set a strict goal of finishing it in a year's time. When God directed him to turn aside and follow a new thought, his strict regimen prevented him from "turning aside." He was torn between following God and attaining his goal.

In this way, I am like the author. I set strict goals for myself. The goals become more important than the reason why I do them. I read a chapter a day. That is my goal. I hate myself when I forget or run out of time. I punish myself by reading two chapters the next day. And it is a rare occasion that I follow a thought whether I attribute it to God or something else.

In trying to break myself of this habit, at least in reading, I made a new goal that I honor above all else as well. I read a chapter and answer the questions in the study guide. I'm not allowed to move on until I finish all questions. Perhaps God was nudging me to read ahead to chapter 3 which I sorely needed, but chose not to because it was not in line with my goal. I missed the opportunity to experience a little joy ahead of schedule.

So I guilt myself for not reaching ridiculous human goals. I'm sad because there is no joy in them. I punish myself by sticking with them. Why can I not be a spontaneous soul that follows the winds?

3.     How have you found joy and peace during the times you have developed disciplines that train you for godliness?

I don't think I have ever developed a spiritual discipline for which I was training for godliness that gave me either peace or joy. Only ever strain. I think I am not understanding spiritual disciplines or training for godliness.

I don't know that I've ever felt peace. I just have always felt it wasn't in my nature.

I do feel joy in music, but I'm not seeing the training it that.

Am I being stubbornly stupid? Quite possibly. I'm being stubbornly depressed. I'm being stubbornly angst-ridden. I'm being stubbornly agitated. Don Miller once wrote something along the lines that he wanted to stay broken so that there would always be hope to be fixed.

If I say that I don't get it, then I won't have to work to change it and I can stay this way. I'm so good at being this way.

Maybe I can play blond. UGH!

4.     What are some of the signs that the wind of the Spirit is blowing and that you should raise your sails?

for me:

•   goose bumps when things are right or in sync
•      a feeling of being out of place
•      uncomfortable
•      feeling as though my skin cannot hold me
•      having an idea that I must share immediately
•      not being able to think about anything else
•      seeing someone (a key player) over and over and over
•      and the occasional baseball bat that I have to do something and I have to do it right now.

If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!

Luke 11:13 (NIV)