1. If you asked the members of your small group to describe your joy-quotient, what do you think they would say about you in terms of joy or non-joy?
If I were to ask those closest to me to describe my joy-quotient, I am relatively certain that they would say that I have not been myself for maybe the past year. They might go so far as to say 18 months. I might be wrong, but that’s when things started getting stupid and I got overwhelmed.
Prior to that time, I think friends would say I was a happy, perky person. I don’t know where joy comes into that equation. Afterwards, I think I would be called depressed which is obviously the absence of joy.
I better start asking.
2. “Joylessness may be the sin most readily tolerated by the church.” Why do you think the church is so quick to accept and even encourage joylessness?
I think there are multiple reasons. First we are sinners and we must be penitent. We must meditate and confess our short-comings and we must be reminded weekly of where we have fallen short and helps to drum in the consequences of a sinful heart regularly. You remember the negatives longer and in greater detail than the positives. Usually the positive, God’s grace and forgiveness, are the punch line.
Second, we are coming out of a generation who had nothing. Depression-era mentality leads to a certain frugality in emotions and stoicism. You cannot be too happy. We must reserve our joy for weddings and special occasions.
Third, the following generation rebelled against the frugality of the prior and swept up the slogan “it’s all about me.” We are joyful about us and our own successes and accomplishments. But when we attend church, that joy is taken away because it is wrong to focus so much on ourselves.
This leads to the children of these families who have everything, but remain discontent because while they have STUFF, they do not have relationships. They are alone in a void of instant gratification and it takes more and more STUFF to reach the joyful high. And of course church has faded to the background because it can no longer entertain them.
Finally, we are a nation of complainers. Nothing is good enough. Nothing is received fast enough. No one has time for us. We like to sit around and whine about what we don’t have or what we would like to have and certainly what others have even though they don’t deserve it. And church is a great meeting place to commiserate.
3. What are some of the natural and joy-filled moments that occur in your week that you need to begin noticing and celebrating?
When my favorite song plays when I need it. When we play our song in bells well. When I am able to play a song finally after lots of practice. When I’m in story time and the kids are participating and enjoying the books I’ve chosen. When I get an unexpected email or message. When I get to spend unexpected time with my friends. When I first go outside to run and I look up at the clear, star-filled sky. When someone leaves me a thoughtful note or gift – it could be chocolate or their library book. When I hear of someone appreciating something I’ve done. When the zimbalstern plays. When I get to mark one of my tasks off my list. When I get to enjoy a special drink with a special meal. When someone plays with my hair.
4. “Often it is the people closest to suffering who have the most powerful joy.” Tell about a person who has modeled this truth and what you have learned from his or her life.
I have a friend who believes that he is losing everything. And I will not say he is exactly joyful, but he is hopeful. He believes that God is at work through this difficult time. He will lose material things, but he will gain things that are much more important. He is accepting of what is to come. He has a plan even though it is yet incomplete, but he has a hope for a better future. It is hard to leave security for suffering. But trusting in God and taking the leap will lead to a certain satisfaction that could not have been found where he was. His soul was slowly dying, but now he will live.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.
Philippians 4:4 (ESV)
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