Being intentional

“We should be intentional about taking time to slow down and notice how God wants to move in our hearts and lives.”

Does it count if you're not intentional? That's my question.

"Do you see times where you turned aside to meet with God?

Yes, looking back on my week, there were several times that I turned aside and did something that wasn't planned or scheduled and I know that God was in on it. A couple of the times it was very easy. Once, it was hard. And once, I've yet to respond to the prompting … I'm not entirely sure how to do it or how it will be received. But I'll do it.

Does your schedule allow the freedom to turn aside as God prompts you?"

Yes. The truly amazing thing is that right now I have all the time in the world to do that. The glory of working part time with the kids in school. The hard part is knowing when to do things that take you away from your family. When it's okay to say no. And when it's more important to say yes.

"What is one area of your life you know God wants to transform but you honestly don’t want to change (or have given up hope of ever changing)?"

How do I put it. He wants my surrender. Acknowledgement that He is the ONE and the only one that can make me "me". And I am so easily distracted. I worry too much. I run on anxiety. I seek affirmation from anywhere and anyone, but Him. ME. ME. ME. ME. Accept me. I'm unworthy. Love me. I'm unlovable. I'm Confident. I'm broken. I'm confident that I'm broken.

He wants my surrender. And I don't know how to do it. It's overwhelming. I'm too plugged in. Connected in everyway. But not feeling connection. You cannot just say it. You have to live it. I'm trying - day by day. Perhaps, second by second is more doable.

1.      What can make people feel like Popeye and simply resigned to saying, “I yam what I yam and that’s all that I yam”?

Good grief! I've been this way my entire life. At least the majority of it. Can you teach an old dog new tricks? There's a good reason – many reasons – why I am the way I am and I cannot change the past. I'm waiting for that big lightning bolt from the sky to just jumpstart me. I want something big and grand and monumental and life-changing. I DON'T want to suffer to change … OUCH! I'm too tired to WORK at it. I'm so tired and I just don't want to care anymore.

2.     It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations…. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations – these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.

C.S. Lewis

I read this quote multiple times. I always stumble upon managing to think of myself and other humans as gods and goddesses. Seems terribly blasphemous. At the same time, we have a tendency to worship at least ourselves if not other people anyway. American Idols? So it shouldn't really be that far fetched to consider.

But this morning, for the first time, the statement in bold jumped to my attention. I don't think I had ever really READ that sentence before. We are helping each other either to be glorious OR reprehensible. How often do I assist in helping someone else to be glorious? How often do I allow someone else to stand upon my shoulders. How often do I humbly wash someone else's feet. Isn't it more likely that I'm belittling someone else for my own benefit? Isn't it more likely that I'm trampling over someone else to set myself above the masses. Isn't it more likely that I'm demanding someone else to wash my dirt away? I'm reprehensible!

3.     If you truly believed “you have never talked to a mere mortal,” how might your behavior change toward one of the following people:

a.     A close friend

I would help them to find their place and passion and purpose.

b.     A bitter enemy

I would extend the olive branch and love on them.

c.      Your spouse

I would serve him and give up control to him. Follow him. Support him. Trust him.

d.     A parent

I would honor and obey them in everyway without hesitation.

e.      A co-worker

I would listen and help where I could without exasperation or jealousy. Acknowledge their strengths and my weaknesses.

I'm exhausted by my brokenness.