Avoid the joyless. Avoid me?

1.     There are people who have a unique ability to destroy joy. How have people like this impacted your life?

Not only can they destroy joy, but they have an ability to take it away without you even knowing it. What’s worse is that sometimes you do not even realize what happened. You can get used to it. And then you forget how to be joyful.

These people make life a chore. You no longer even enjoy the things that used to uplift you because they point out all of the negative aspects. Sometimes you start to offer them the negative points on your own and never even share the positives anymore. They only want to hear the bad.

I wanted to share my joy-filled heart in a positive way. I think I was hoping to give others the opportunity to experience a little joy or happiness or relief from something that wasn’t rewarding for them. In one case, I was taken up on it, but was given so many strictures, that it became a chore for me as well. In another case, I wasn’t allowed and it showed me in a clear way how sometimes you have to take others up on the offer of help. Otherwise you’re denying them the opportunity to serve others.

Now I’m discovering that I have to be the instigator. I have to be in charge of my own ministry as it were. It doesn’t have to fit into someone else’s program.

What can we do to keep these people from robbing us of joy?

We can avoid them. Seriously. When we are at our most vulnerable and not up to working with them, we can choose to avoid them. It would be in our best interest.

When we are forced to interact with them, we can offer only positives and choose to ignore the negatives. We can choose not to play their game.

When we are particularly filled with happiness we can be aggressive with their complaints and try to be “joy tidal waves”. They can choose to sink or swim!

2.    Impatience kills both joy and time. How have you seen impatience kill time in your life?

I know for a fact that this is an issue in my life. I think I always live event to event. I look forward to some and dread the others, but I live for them. Either for the joy of one or for the passing of the other.

When I finally get the car packed and the girls seat-belted in the morning, I breathe a sigh of relief when I finally pull out of the driveway. I live for that moment when everything is where it has to be by 8am. I’m missing out on little moments of joy with my girls in the impatience of checking off my list.

I worry about something I have to do and dread it and agonize over it when there is really very little I can do about it other than choose not to do it. What a waste of my time leading up to the time when I can finally put it behind me. Ugh! But then sometimes I agonize over everything that went wrong or I wasn’t happy with or wondering if I could have done something different.

Or I live for something GREAT! But it never lives up to my expectations and anticipations because I SO longed for it and built it up to be something that it could never be. Then I’ve taken the joy right out of it all by myself. Or while I’m enjoying it, I’m worrying about it ending! It’s like they say: if you’re wondering if you’re spontaneous, then you’re not. I’m looking at what I’ve written and realize that I’m probably a joy-destroyer and not even close to a carrier. UGH!

3.    Read the quote from G. K. Chesterton. How does Chesterton’s vision of a youthful and joy-filled God affirm or clash with your vision of God?

In my mind, God is the Father, and probably, more the Grandfather. He is old and knows everything. Nothing would be a surprise. He is the grownup and I am the child. I’m not a joyful child. I am a rebellious child and He is not happy. So my fun is to be taken away … I tiptoe on eggshells around Him. I’m scared to be brave lest I get a stern glance, a reprimand or worse, He’s disappointed in my efforts or lack of. Kids are meant to be seen and no heard. They get in the way and are distracting.

a.     A joyless, angry and harsh God

b.    A stoic and unconcerned God

c.     A joy-filled and embracing God

What kind of a picture of God were you given as a child growing up in your home or church?

A stoic and unconcerned God. Jesus was always the human, loving person, although I wouldn’t even say “friend.”

What kind of a picture of God do you have today?

A stoic and unconcerned God. I’d say that it hasn’t changed much at all. He’s as distant as ever. He doesn’t have time for me. He has bigger fish to fry. I might like to talk the talk, but it would be a lie. I’m as afraid to approach Him as I am to approach anyone.

I think perhaps a lot of it has to do with the adults around me growing up. Send the kids away to have fun while the grownups have a break.

And it’s not much different for my kids. Do we ever take a break to have fun with them? Without us complaining about it being a chore. Is all life work?

Come to me,
all who labor and are heavy laden,
and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28 (ESV)