So very, very tired

Psalm 127:1-2

1.      What are some of the unique spiritual lessons that can be learned in being a parent?

Patience, obviously.

In my own experience, the number one lesson that I have learned is the uniqueness of the individual. And the things that I might have considered to be vitally important are of no consequence in God’s plans.

That is why it is so important to teach them the things that are unchangeable. God’s Word – both Gospel and Law. Make known to them the TRUTH. When God’s TRUTH is written on their hearts, minds, souls, bodies, whatever else they might do and how they do it will be in line with God’s plans.

Another spiritual lesson is that our children are given to us to teach us as well. To remind us who we are and where we came from – for we are to be like children.

AND our children are not just our own biological offspring, but any child we have the benefit of coming into contact with. A former teacher of mine often shares her favorite quote, “You may be the only Bible a person will ever read.” Wow, when considering how many children I come into contact with. And considering that up to a certain age, they cannot read anyway. They take their cues from people.

What title would you give for the unique season of life you are in now and how can this season become a time of growth and formation in becoming all God wants you to be?

I've called this season "transformation." I find it very inconvenient that I feel the need to do it now, but I don't get those kind of choices. I find I've always been a caterpillar just devouring a way at the info that's been given me.  I never became a butterfly. I'd take a moth. I'd take a moth that doesn't even have a mouth with very short lifespan to go with it. They still have a purpose.

My intent is to make this season my time of significant growth and formation. Like I have the choice to do that … I'm not in control. But I want this to be the BIG one. I want to be finished. I know. It doesn't work that way. Not at all. I'm really wishing I had already been there done that. My guess is that I have, and I will have to do it again, and again, and again.

2.     How do you change for the worse when you are tired and how do you change for the better when you are rested?

Without sleep, I may not necessarily be cranky, but I'm too tired to do ANYTHING or anything well. When I'm rested, I'm my perky self. When I'm tired, I cannot even do anything productive. I collapse on a sofa and watch mindless TV. OR I try to read my book and fall asleep in the process. And falling asleep only to get up and move to bed is almost certainly never good. When I'm rested, I can interact with my family after the chores are done. Have some actual fun.

How might adjusting your present sleep patterns help you grow in your ability to love God and others?

I need to sleep. I know it. I need to determine what I'm willing to change to make that happen. I need to determine what's best for my family. I'd like nothing better than to go to bed early, but that is not necessarily what is in my spouse's best interest.

I think the most important outcome of getting more sleep will be an improvement in my mental health. I will be able to focus more clearly, speak more effectively, and process information more efficiently. Right now I'm practically manic-depressive and it might just be better to take myself out of the equation. Too many people depend upon me to just ignore my own health.

I cannot love others through action when I cannot even take care of myself.

What is a specific step you need to take to begin your training toward developing a new area of spiritual discipline? Who will you invite to encourage you, challenge you, and keep you accountable in this area of commitment?

Spiritual Discipline: Prayer

Specific Step: Set aside quiet time

Time: For now, while I run. That's about 25 minutes of quiet time. I'll turn the iPhone down to hear myself better. Certainly cannot fall asleep while running. Certainly not taking time away from family.

Problem: Still opportunities for distraction.

Who will challenge me?: Don't know. Maybe I can have my phone notify me … Maybe I can leave post-its on the door where I exit. Ideas? anyone? Someone text me at 5am to remind me? Anyone else awake?

Are there disciplines you need to stop because they are driving love out of your life?

I'm absolutely, positively certain that there are. I'm doing too much that is not necessarily in line with my nature and spiritual gifts. On the flip side, my primary spiritual gift isn't really being utilized and that is also driving the love out of me. I've already quit a few of the things that were bothering me … I didn't feel good about it though. My fear is that by stopping somethings, I might not get the opportunity to replace them with better things. What scares me most is that regular weekly worship is driving the love right out of me. More specifically, the very people I worship with … OUCH! Not a good fit. Change required, but am I willing.

It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.
Psalm 127:2 (ESV)